A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Tasmania, Australia.

With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting:

"I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes! What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the colour of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being! Its men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as people! Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general... and all in the name of humour!"

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mate! I'm talking to that little shit on your lap!!!"

2007 - Chinese year of the Chicken - Bird Flu Pandemic devastates parts of Asia

2008 - Chinese year of the Horse - Equine Influenza decimates Australian racing

2009 - Chinese year of the Pig - Swine Flu Pandemic kills hundreds of pigs around the globe.

Has any one else noticed this???!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It gets worse........ next year......

2010 - Chinese year of the Cock - what could possibly go wrong?

A rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Colin, the only Aborigine in the neighborhood.

He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating prawns, oysters and BBQ. At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 15 ft man-eating crocodile in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the balls to jump in.'

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Colin in the pool fighting the croc, jabbing the croc in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds of stuff like head butts and choke holds, biting the croc on the tail and flipping the croc through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Colin and the croc were screaming and raising hell. Finally Colin strangled the croc and let it float to the top like a dead goldfish.

Colin then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief. The host says, 'Well, Colin, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.'
'Nah, you all right boss, I don't want it,' said Colin.

The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then' 'No thanks. I don't want it,' answered Colin.

The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing.
Again, Colin said no..

Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well Colin, then what do you want?Colin said,

'I want the bastard who pushed me in.'

http://www.timony.com/jokes/2009/03/05/colin-and-the-croc