And another from Gina! How to Tell the Sex of a Fly
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
What are you doing?
She asked.
Hunting Flies
He responded.
Oh! Killing any?
She asked.
Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,
he replied.
Intrigued, she asked.
How can you tell them apart?
He responded
3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone!
Seamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn’t have a lot of money between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro.
Murphy said “Hang on, I have an idea.”
He went next door to the butcher’s shop and came out with one large sausage.
Seamus said “Are you crazy? Now we don’t have any money left at all!”
Murphy replied, “Don’t worry – just follow me.”
He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jameson Whiskey.
Seamus said “Now you’ve lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven’t got any money!!”
Murphy replied, with a smile. “Don’t worry, I have a plan, Cheers!”
They downed their Drinks. Murphy said, “OK, I’ll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth.”
The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out.
They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free.
At the tenth pub Seamus said “Murphy – I don’t think I can do any more of this. I’m drunk and me knees are killin’me!”
Murphy said: