Washington …
From Dora:
A little boy wanted $100..00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.
When the postal authorities received the letter to:
God, USA
They decided to send it to the President.
The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $ 5.00 bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy ...
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:
Dear God,
Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington D.C. and those assholes took $95.00 in taxes.
Eve Needs A Man!
And an alternative Bilbical one from Ernie:
If God had created Eve first, what might have transpired:
After three weeks in the garden, God came to visit Eve. "How are things, Eve?", He asked.
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied, "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful. But I just have this one problem. It's these breasts you've given me. The middle one pushes the other two out, and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches, snagging them on bushes, they're a real pain."
"That's a fair point," replied God, "but it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals what, six? So I just figured you'd need half, but I see that you are tight. I'll fix that up right away!" and God reaches down and removes the middle breast, tossing it into the bushes.
Three weeks passed, and God again visited Eve in the garden. "Well, Eve, how's my favorite creation?" He asked.
"Just fantastic," she replied, "but for one small oversight on your part. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has her ram, the cow has her bull, all the animals have a mate, except me. I feel so alone."
God thought for a moment. "You know, Eve, you're right. How could I have overlooked this! You do need a mate and I will immediately create Man from a part of you! Now, let's see, where did I leave that useless boob?"
2 theories of creation!
Finally a joke from Edel:
A little girl asked her mother: 'How did the human race appear?' The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve; they had children; and so was all mankind made.'
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mum, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'
The mother answered, 'Well, Dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family, and your father told you about his.'
Jokes ….
And even more from Edel:
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Reason Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
All the DNA is the same.
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I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming.
Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.
Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, 'So which six items would you like to buy?'
Wouldn't it be great if that happened more often?
Divorce, Marriage, Weddings …
Finally after a drought, one from Edel, it's actually a whole bunch of jokes in one e-mail but I'm going to break it up over a few postings.
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My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God, and I didn't.
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Marriage is a three-ring circus:
Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
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For Sale :
Wedding dress, size 8.
Worn once by mistake.
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There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman:
Before marriage and after marriage.