All those Jokes that people send me » weather

Men are like …

thejoker — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 16:39:08 +0000

Another man-basher joke from Ernie! I mean Ernie how could you!

Men are like Laxatives. They irritate the crap out of you.
Men are like. Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are
Men are like Weather. Nothing can be done to change them.
Men are like Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
Men are like Chocolate Bars .. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
Men are like Commercials. You can't believe a word they say.
Men are like Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
Men are like Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
Men are like Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Men are like Snowstorms. You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last..
Men are like Lava Lamps. Fun to look at, but not very bright.
Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Now send this to all the remarkable women you know, as well as to any understanding good-natured, fun kinda guys you might be lucky enough to know !!!!!!!!!!

http://www.timony.com/jokes/2009/02/03/men-are-like

More Irish Weather

thejoker — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 00:28:46 +0000

A newcomer to Ireland arrives on a rainy day. He gets up the next day and it 's raining. It also rains the day after that, and the day after that.
He goes out to lunch and sees a young kid and asks out of despair, "Hey kid, does it ever stop raining around here?"

The kid says:

"How do I know? I'm only 6."

Weather Quote

admin — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 00:30:10 +0000

From Ilya:

I reverently believe that the maker who made us all makes everything in New England, but the weather. I don't know who makes that, but I think it must be raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in New England, for board and clothes, and then are promoted to make weather for countries that require a good article, and will take their custom elsewhere if they don't get it.
-- Mark Twain

Mark Twain is awesome

Irish Weather

thejoker — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 20:26:48 +0000

A curious fellow died one day and found himself in limbo waiting in a long, long line for judgment. As he stood here, he noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through the gates of heaven. Others were led over to Satan, who threw them into a lake of fire. Every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would toss him or her to one side. After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow's curiosity got the better of him. He strolled over and tapped Old Nick on the shoulder.

"Excuse me, there, Your Darkness," he said. "I 'm waiting in line for judgment, and I couldn't help wondering why you are tossing some people aside instead of flinging them into the fires of hell with the others?"

"Ah," Satan said with a grin. "Those are the Irish. I'm letting them dry out so they'll burn."

Irish Summer

admin — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 01:56:26 +0000

What do you call two straight days of rain in Ireland ? A weekend.

It only rains twice a year in Ireland : August through April and May through July.

What's the definition of an Irish optimist? A guy with a sun visor on his rain hat.

"I can 't believe it," said the tourist. "I've been here an entire week and it 's done nothing but rain. When do you have summer here?"
"Well, that' s hard to say," replied the local. "Last year, it was on a Wednesday."