{"id":327,"date":"2008-12-15T20:25:52","date_gmt":"2008-12-16T01:25:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/?p=327"},"modified":"2008-12-15T23:48:47","modified_gmt":"2008-12-16T04:48:47","slug":"how-many-dogs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2008\/12\/15\/how-many-dogs\/","title":{"rendered":"How many dogs ???"},"content":{"rendered":"

This one’s from Edel, I thought someone had sent me this before? Oh well, maybe it was before I started this blog:<\/p>\n

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/strong>
\n<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/strong>
\n<\/span><\/span>1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
\n<\/span><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/span>2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.
\n<\/span><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/span>3. Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp!
\n<\/span><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/span>4. Rottweiler: Make me.
\n<\/span><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/span>5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
\n<\/span><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/span>6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
\n<\/span><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/span>7. German Shepherd: I’ll change it as soon as I’ve led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven’t missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation
\n<\/span><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/span>8. Jack Russell Terrier: I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls and furniture.
\n<\/span><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/span>9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I’m sorry, but I don’t see a light bulb!
\n<\/span><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/span>10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
\n<\/span><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/span>11. Chihuahua : Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or ‘We don’t need no stinking light bulb.’
\n<\/span><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/span>12. Greyhound: It isn’t moving. Who cares?
\n<\/span><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/span>13. Australian Shepherd: First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little circle…
\n<\/span><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/span>14. Poodle: I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em><\/strong> <\/span><\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is:
\n<\/span><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/span>‘How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?’
\nALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF!<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2008\/12\/15\/how-many-dogs<\/span>how-many-dogs<\/span>\/<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This one’s from Edel, I thought someone had sent me this before? Oh well, maybe it was before I started this blog: How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? 1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[191,277,190],"tags":[1178,1180,1957,1188,1186,1177,330,40,1181,1179,1190,1189,1182,1183,1176,181,1184,1191,1185,1187],"class_list":["post-327","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-animals","category-cat","category-dog","tag-border-collie","tag-boxer","tag-cat","tag-chihuahua","tag-cocker-spaniel","tag-dachshund","tag-dogs","tag-edel","tag-german-shepherd","tag-golden-retriever","tag-grayhound","tag-greyhound","tag-jack-russell","tag-jack-russell-terrier","tag-labrador","tag-light-bulb","tag-old-english-sheepdog","tag-poodle","tag-sheepdog","tag-spaniel"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/327","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=327"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/327\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":333,"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/327\/revisions\/333"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=327"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=327"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=327"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}