{"id":532,"date":"2009-02-18T11:44:16","date_gmt":"2009-02-18T16:44:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/?p=532"},"modified":"2009-02-18T11:46:54","modified_gmt":"2009-02-18T16:46:54","slug":"quiz-show-fail","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2009\/02\/18\/quiz-show-fail\/","title":{"rendered":"Quiz Show Fail!"},"content":{"rendered":"

From Edel! Epic fail bad answers to questions asked on (mainly British) TV and Radio quizzes. To get some of these, you’ll need to be British, or understand British culture. To get some of the others, you’ll need to know a bit of general knowledge<\/a>! \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
\nJeremy Paxman:<\/span><\/span><\/strong> What is another name for ‘cherrypickers’ and ‘cheesemongers’?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Homosexuals.
\nPaxman:<\/span><\/strong> No. They’re regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
\nJamie Theakston:<\/strong> Where do you think Cambridge University is?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Geography isn’t my strong point.
\nTheakston:<\/span><\/strong> There’s a clue in the title.
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Leicester.<\/strong><\/p>\n

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)<\/strong>
\nWood:<\/span><\/strong> What ‘K’ could be described as the Islamic Bible?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Er. . .
\nWood:<\/span><\/strong> It’s got two syllables . .. . Kor . . .
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Blimey?
\nWood:<\/span><\/strong> Ha ha ha ha, no.. The past participle of run . . .
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> (Silence.)
\nWood:<\/span><\/strong> OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Walked?<\/strong><\/p>\n

BBC NORFOLK
\nStewart White:<\/strong> Who had a worldwide hit with “What A Wonderful World”?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> I don’t know..
\nWhite:<\/span><\/strong> I’ll give you some clues. What do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?Contestant:<\/span><\/strong> Arm.
\nWhite:<\/span><\/strong> Correct. And if you’re not weak, you’re . .?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Strong.
\nWhite:<\/span><\/strong> Correct, and what was Lord Mountbatten’s first name?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Louis.
\nWhite:<\/span><\/strong> Well, there we are then. So, who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Frank Sinatra?<\/strong><\/p>\n

LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)
\nAlex Trelinski:<\/strong> What’s the capital of Italy?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> France. <\/span><\/span>
\nTrelinski:<\/span><\/span><\/strong> France is another country. Try again.
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Oh, um, Benidorm.
\nTrelinski:<\/span><\/strong> Wrong, sorry, let’s try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Sorry, I don’t know.
\nTrelinski:<\/span><\/strong> Just guess a country then.
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Paris.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
\nAnne Robinson:<\/strong> Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: Prison or the Conservative Party?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> The Conservative Party.<\/strong><\/p>\n

BEACON RADIO, Wolverhampton
\nDJ Mark:<\/strong> For \u00c2\u00a310, what is the nationality of the Pope?
\nRuth from Rowley Regis:<\/span><\/strong> I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?<\/strong><\/p>\n

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
\nBamber Gascoigne:<\/strong> What was Gandhi’s first name?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Goosey?<\/strong><\/p>\n

GWR FM, Bristol
\nPresenter:<\/strong> What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> I don’t know, I wasn’t watching it then.
\n
\nRTE RADIO 2FM, Ireland
\nPresenter:<\/span><\/strong> What is the name of the long-running TV comedy show about pensioners : Last Of The. .?
\nCaller:<\/span><\/strong> Mohicans<\/strong><\/p>\n

RICHARD AND JUDY (C4))
\nQ:<\/strong> Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
\nA:<\/span><\/strong> Forrest Gump.<\/strong><\/p>\n

LINCS FM PHONE-IN
\nPresenter:<\/strong> Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Barcelona.
\nPresenter:<\/span><\/strong> I was really after the name of a country.
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> I’m sorry; I don’t know the names of any countries in Spain.<\/strong><\/p>\n

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
\nQ:<\/strong> What is the world’s largest continent?
\nA:<\/span><\/strong> The Pacific<\/strong><\/p>\n

RICHARD AND JUDY (C4))
\nPresenter:<\/strong> On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Er. . .
\nPresenter:<\/span><\/strong> He makes bread. . .
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Err…
\nPresenter:<\/span><\/strong> He makes cakes . .
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Kipling Street?<\/strong><\/p>\n

THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
\nSteve Le Fevre:<\/strong> What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918? <\/span><\/span>
\nContestant:<\/span><\/span><\/strong> Magna Carta?<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

BREAKFAST SHOW (RADIO 1)
\nChris Moyles:<\/strong> Which ‘s’ is a kind of whale that can grow up to 80 tonnes?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Ummm.. . .
\nMoyles:<\/span><\/strong> It <\/span><\/span>begins with ‘s’ and rhymes with ‘perm’.
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Shark.
\n
\nJAMES O’BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
\nO’Brien:<\/span><\/strong> How many kings of E ngland have been called Henry?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth. . . er . . . Three?<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL)
\nSearle:<\/strong> In which European country is Mount Etna?
\nCaller:<\/span><\/strong> Japan.
\nSearle:<\/span><\/strong> I did say which European<\/span><\/em> country, so in case you didn’t hear that, I can let you try again.
\nCaller:<\/span><\/strong> Er . . . Mexico?<\/strong><\/p>\n

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE)
\nWappat:<\/strong> How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
\nContestant (after long pause):<\/span><\/strong> Fourteen days.<\/strong><\/p>\n

DARYL DENHAM’S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
\nDenham:<\/strong> In which country would you spend shekels?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Holland?
\nDenham:<\/span><\/strong> Try the next letter of the alphabet.
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Iceland? Ireland?
\nDenham (helpfully):<\/span><\/strong> It’s a bad line. Did you say Israel?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> No.<\/strong><\/p>\n

THE VAULT (ITV)
\nMelanie Sykes:<\/strong> What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Nostalgia.<\/strong><\/p>\n

STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (RADIO 2)
\nWright:<\/strong> Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Jesus<\/strong><\/p>\n

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
\nEamonn Holmes:<\/strong> Dizzy Gillespie is famous for playing what?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Basketball.<\/strong><\/p>\n

DOG EAT DOG (BBC1)
\nUlrika Jonsson:<\/strong> Who wrote Lord Of The Rings?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Enid Blyton.<\/strong><\/p>\n

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)<\/strong>
\nEamonn Holmes:<\/span><\/strong> There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and . . ? <\/span><\/span>
\nContestant:<\/span><\/span><\/strong> Jelly.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

FORT BOYARD (CHALLENGE TV)
\nJodie Marsh:<\/strong> Arrange these two groups of letters to form a word – CHED and PIT.
\nTeam:<\/span><\/strong> Chedpit.<\/strong><\/p>\n

SIMPLY THE BEST (ITV)
\nPhil Tufnell:<\/strong> How many Olympic Games have been held?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Six.
\nTufnell:<\/span><\/strong> Higher!
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Five.<\/strong><\/p>\n

NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ (BBC RADIO NOTTINGHAM)<\/strong> <\/span><\/span>
\nJeff Owen:<\/span><\/span><\/strong> In which country is Mount Everest?
\nContestant (long pause):<\/span><\/strong> Er, it’s not in Scotland, is it?<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
\nAnne Robinson:<\/strong> In traffic, what ‘j’ is where two roads meet?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Jool carriageway?<\/strong><\/p>\n

QUIZMANIA (ITV)
\nGreg Scott:<\/strong> We’re looking for an occupation beginning with T.
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Doctor.
\nScott:<\/span><\/strong> No, it’s ‘T’. ‘ T’ for Tommy. ‘T’ for Tango.
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Oh, (pause) Doctor.<\/strong><\/p>\n

BIG QUIZ (LBC)
\nGary King:<\/strong> Name the funny men who once entertained kings and queens at court.
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Lepers.<\/strong><\/p>\n

DANNY KELLY SHOW (RADIO WM)
\nKelly:<\/strong> Which French Mediterranean town hosts a famous film festival every year?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> I need a clue.
\nKelly:<\/span><\/strong> OK. What do beans come in?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Cartons?<\/strong><\/p>\n

TALKSPORT
\nAndy Townsend:<\/strong> How many wheels does a tricycle have?
\nCaller:<\/span><\/strong> Two.
\nTownsend:<\/span><\/strong> The Beatles were known as the Fab…?
\nCaller:<\/span><\/strong> Five.<\/strong><\/p>\n

MAGIC 52 (NORTH-EAST ENGLAND)
\nPresenter:<\/strong> In what year was President Kennedy assassinated?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Erm…
\nPresenter:<\/span><\/strong> Well, let’s put it this way – he didn’t see 1964.
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> 1965?<\/strong><\/p>\n

WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE? (ITV)
\nChris Tarrant (asking the audience):<\/strong> ‘Jambon’ is the French for which food?
\n11 per cent of the audience:<\/span><\/strong> Jam. <\/span><\/span>
\n
\nDAVE LEE TRAVIS SHOW (BREEZE FM)
\nDLT:<\/span><\/strong> In which European country are there people called Walloons?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Wales.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

JANICE FORSYTH SHOW (BBC RADIO SCOTLAND)
\nForsyth:<\/strong> What is India’s currency?
\nContestant:<\/span><\/strong> Ramadan.<\/strong><\/p>\n

OWEN MONEY SHOW (BBC RADIO WALES)
\nMoney:<\/strong> In 30 seconds, name as many well-known politicians as you can.
\nCaller:<\/span><\/strong> Er. . . Tony Brown. . . and Nigel Benn.<\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2009\/02\/18\/quiz-show-fail<\/span>quiz-show-fail<\/span>\/<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From Edel! Epic fail bad answers to questions asked on (mainly British) TV and Radio quizzes. To get some of these, you’ll need to be British, or understand British culture. To get some of the others, you’ll need to know a bit of general knowledge! \ud83d\ude09 UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2) Jeremy Paxman: What is another name […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[269,46,155],"tags":[1570,1562,1559,1556,1557,1561,1552,1553,1567,1565,1571,1558,1566,1554,583,1569,1568,1564,1563,828,1555,702,1560],"class_list":["post-532","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-british","category-funny","category-real","tag-bbc","tag-benidorm","tag-blimey","tag-british-army","tag-cambridge-university","tag-capital","tag-cheesemongers","tag-cherrypickers","tag-forrest-gump","tag-gandhi","tag-general-knowledge","tag-geography","tag-goosey","tag-homosexuals","tag-italy","tag-magna-carta","tag-nicole-kidman","tag-paris","tag-parthenon","tag-pope","tag-regiments","tag-rte","tag-what-a-wonderful-world"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/532","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=532"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/532\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":534,"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/532\/revisions\/534"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=532"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=532"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=532"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}