{"id":593,"date":"2009-04-20T11:25:04","date_gmt":"2009-04-20T16:25:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2009\/04\/20\/doctors-advice-on-constipation\/"},"modified":"2009-04-20T11:26:23","modified_gmt":"2009-04-20T16:26:23","slug":"doctors-advice-on-constipation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2009\/04\/20\/doctors-advice-on-constipation\/","title":{"rendered":"Doctors advice on constipation."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>From Ernie:<\/p>\n<p>If you are bothered by occasional or frequent constipation, repeat the following phrase three times in succession when symptoms occur:<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;My financial and personal well being is totally in the hands of Bill O&#8217;Reilly, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, Newt Gingrich, Michelle Malkin, Rush Limbaugh, Gary Bauer and Neil Cavuto.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>If that doesn&#8217;t scare the shit out of you, then you are probably destined to be full of it for the rest of your life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;My financial and personal well being is totally in the hands of Bill O&#8217;Reilly, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, Newt Gingrich, Michelle Malkin, Rush Limbaugh, Gary Bauer and Neil Cavuto.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[42,285],"tags":[1678,132,1684,1680,1682,1685,1681,1958,1683,1679],"class_list":["post-593","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-american","category-politics","tag-bill-oreilly","tag-ernie","tag-gary-bauer","tag-glenn-beck","tag-michelle-malkin","tag-neil-cavuto-constipation","tag-newt-gingrich","tag-politics","tag-rush-limbaugh","tag-sean-hannity"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/593","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=593"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/593\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":594,"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/593\/revisions\/594"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=593"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=593"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=593"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}