{"id":701,"date":"2010-02-07T11:27:27","date_gmt":"2010-02-07T16:27:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/?p=701"},"modified":"2010-02-07T11:27:27","modified_gmt":"2010-02-07T16:27:27","slug":"why-some-men-have-dogs-and-not-wives","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2010\/02\/07\/why-some-men-have-dogs-and-not-wives\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>1.  The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.<\/p>\n<p>2. Dogs don&#8217;t notice if you call them by another dog&#8217;s name.<\/p>\n<p>3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.<\/p>\n<p>4. A dog&#8217;s parents never visit.<\/p>\n<p>5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.<\/p>\n<p>6. You never have to wait for a dog; they&#8217;re ready to go 24 hours a day.<\/p>\n<p>7. Dogs find you amusing when you&#8217;re drunk..<\/p>\n<p>8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.<\/p>\n<p>9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, &#8220;If I died, would you get another dog?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.<\/p>\n<p>11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.<\/p>\n<p>12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don&#8217;t get mad. They just think it&#8217;s interesting.<\/p>\n<p>13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.<\/p>\n<p>And last, but certainly not least:<!--more--><\/p>\n<p>14. If a dog leaves, it won&#8217;t take half of your stuff.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ultimate True Test:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong> <\/strong>Lock your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. Then open the trunk and see who&#8217;s the happiest to see you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2. Dogs don&#8217;t notice if you call them by another dog&#8217;s name. 3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor. 4. A dog&#8217;s parents never visit. 5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[190,186,39],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-701","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dog","category-marriage","category-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/701","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=701"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/701\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":702,"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/701\/revisions\/702"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=701"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=701"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=701"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}