{"id":100,"date":"2008-03-18T18:39:52","date_gmt":"2008-03-18T23:39:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/?p=100"},"modified":"2008-03-19T22:54:10","modified_gmt":"2008-03-20T03:54:10","slug":"todays-idiots","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2008\/03\/18\/todays-idiots\/","title":{"rendered":"TODAYS IDIOTS"},"content":{"rendered":"

And from Edel, supposedly a whole bunch of silly, wrong, or incorrect answers given by contestants on various British & Irish radio & television quiz shows.<\/p>\n

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)<\/h3>\n

Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for ‘cherrypickers’ and ‘cheesemongers’?
\nContestant: Homosexuals.
\nPaxman: No. They’re regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.<\/h4>\n

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)<\/h3>\n

Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
\nContestant: Geography isn’t my strong point.
\nTheakston: There’s a clue in the title.
\nContestant: Leicester .<\/h4>\n

BBC NORFOLK<\/h3>\n

Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
\nContestant: I don’t know.
\nWhite: I’ll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
\nContestant: Arm.
\nWhite: Correct. And if you’re not weak, you’re..?
\nContestant: Strong.
\nWhite: Correct – and what was Lord Mountbatten’s first name?
\nContestant: Louis.
\nWhite: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
\nContestant: Frank Sinatra?<\/h4>\n

LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS )<\/h3>\n

Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy ?
\nContestant: France ..
\nTrelinski: France is another country. Try again.
\nContestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
\nTrelinski: Wrong, sorry, let’s try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
\nContestant: Sorry, I don’t know.
\nTrelinski: Just guess a country then.
\nContestant: Paris<\/h4>\n

THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)<\/h3>\n

Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: prison, or the Conservative Party?
\nContestant: The Conservative Party.<\/h4>\n

THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC 2)<\/h3>\n

Anne Robinson: In traffic, what ‘J’ is where two roads meet?
\nContestant: Jool carriageway?<\/h4>\n

BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )<\/h3>\n

DJ Mark: For 10 Pounds, what is the nationality of the Pope?
\nRuth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?<\/h4>\n

GWR FM ( Bristol )<\/h3>\n

Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
\nContestant: I don’t know, I wasn’t watching it then.<\/h4>\n

MAGIC 52 ( NORTHEAST ENGLAND )<\/h3>\n

Presenter: In what year was President Kennedy assassinated?
\nContestant: Erm . . .
\nPresenter: Well, let’s put it this way \u00cb\u2020 he didn’t see 1964.
\nContestant: 1965?<\/h4>\n

RTE RADIO 2FM ( IRELAND )<\/h3>\n

Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV comedy show about pensioners: Last Of The ..?
\nCaller: Mohicans.<\/h4>\n

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER )<\/h3>\n

Phil: What’s 11 squared?
\nContestant: I don’t know.
\nPhil: I’ll give you a clue. It’s two ones with a two in the middle.
\nContestant: Is it five?<\/h4>\n

SIMPLY THE BEST (ITV)<\/h3>\n

Phil Tufnell: How many Olympic Games have been held?
\nContestant: Six.
\nTufnell: Higher!
\nContestant: Five.<\/h4>\n

FORT BOYARD (CHALLENGE TV)<\/h3>\n

Jodie Marsh: Arrange these two groups of letters to form a word ??? CHED and PIT.
\nTeam: Chedpit.<\/h4>\n

LINCS FM PHONE-IN<\/h3>\n

Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
\nContestant: Barcelona
\nPresenter: I was really after the name of a country.
\nContestant: I’m sorry, I don’t know the names of any countries in Spain ..<\/h4>\n

RADIO 1 EARLY MORNING SHOW<\/h3>\n

Presenter: How many toes would three people have in total?
\nContestant: 23.<\/h4>\n

NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ (BBC RADIO NOTTINGHAM )
\nJeff Owen: In which country is Mount Everest ?
\nContestant (long pause): Er, it’s not in Scotland , is it?<\/h4>\n

THE MICK GIRDLER SHOW (BBC RADIO SOLENT )<\/h3>\n

Girdler: I’m looking for an island in the Atlantic whose name includes the letter ‘e’.
\nContestant: Ghana
\nGirdler: No, listen.. It’s an island in the Atlantic Ocean.
\nContestant: New Zealand<\/h4>\n

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)<\/h3>\n

Question: What is the world’s largest continent?
\nContestant: The Pacific<\/h4>\n

ROCK FM ( PRESTON )<\/h3>\n

Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci.
\nContestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?<\/h4>\n

THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)<\/h3>\n

Steve Le Fevre: What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
\nContestant: Magna Carta.<\/h4>\n

JAMES O’BRIEN SHOW (LBC)<\/h3>\n

O’Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
\nContestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth … er . er ..three?<\/h4>\n

RICHARD ALLINSON SHOW (RADIO 2)<\/h3>\n

Allinson: What international brand shares its name with the Greek goddess of victory?
\nContestant (after long deliberation): Erm, Kellogg’s?<\/h4>\n

BLIND DATE (ITV)<\/h3>\n

Girl: Name a book written by Jane Austen.
\nBoy: Charlotte Bronte.<\/h4>\n

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )<\/h3>\n

Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna ?
\nCaller: Japan .
\nSearle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn’t hear that, I can let you try again.
\nCaller: Er … Mexico ?<\/h4>\n

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )<\/h3>\n

Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
\nContestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.<\/h4>\n

NATIONAL LOTTERY<\/h3>\n

Eamonn Holmes: Dizzy Gillespie is famous for playing what?
\nContestant: Basketball.<\/h4>\n

NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ<\/h3>\n

Jeff Owen: Where did the D-Day landings take place?
\nContestant (after pause): Pearl Harbor ?<\/h4>\n

DARYL DENHAM’S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)<\/h3>\n

Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
\nContestant: Holland ?
\nDenham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
\nContestant: Iceland ? Ireland ?
\nDenham (helpfully): It’s a bad line. Did you say Israel ?
\nContestant: No.<\/h4>\n

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)<\/h3>\n

Wood: What ‘K’ could be described as the Islamic Bible?
\nContestant: Er . . .
\nWood: It’s got two syllables . . . Kor . . .
\nContestant: Blimey?
\nWood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . .
\nContestant: (Silence)
\nWood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
\nContestant: Walked?<\/h4>\n

THE VAULT<\/h3>\n

Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
\nContestant: Nostalgia.<\/h4>\n

BREAKFAST SHOW, RADIO 1<\/h3>\n

Chris Moyles: Which ‘S’ is a kind of whale that can grow up to 80 tonnes?
\nContestant: Ummm . .
\nMoyles: It begins with ‘S’ and rhymes with ‘perm’.
\nContestant: Shark.<\/h4>\n

STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)<\/h3>\n

Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?<\/h4>\n

Contestant: Jesus<\/h4>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

And from Edel, supposedly a whole bunch of silly, wrong, or incorrect answers given by contestants on various British & Irish radio & television quiz shows. UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2) Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for ‘cherrypickers’ and ‘cheesemongers’? Contestant: Homosexuals. Paxman: No. They’re regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[269,43,46,3,74],"tags":[40,393,391,390,1939,394,309,1959,392],"class_list":["post-100","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-british","category-english","category-funny","category-irish","category-radio","tag-edel","tag-questions","tag-quiz","tag-quiz-shows","tag-radio","tag-stupid","tag-television","tag-tv","tag-weakest-link"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/100","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=100"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/100\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=100"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=100"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=100"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}