{"id":115,"date":"2008-04-11T17:32:11","date_gmt":"2008-04-11T22:32:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/?p=115"},"modified":"2008-04-11T17:32:11","modified_gmt":"2008-04-11T22:32:11","slug":"the-lie-clock","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2008\/04\/11\/the-lie-clock\/","title":{"rendered":"The Lie Clock"},"content":{"rendered":"

And one from Ernie:<\/p>\n

A man died and went to heaven.<\/h4>\n

As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, “What are all those clocks?”<\/h4>\n

St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.”<\/h4>\n

“Oh,” said the man, “Whose clock is that?”<\/h4>\n

“That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”<\/h4>\n

“Incredible,” said the man. “And whose clock is that one?”<\/h4>\n

St. Peter responded, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.”<\/h4>\n

“Where’s Hillary Clinton’s clock?” asked the man.<\/h4>\n

“Hillary’s clock is in Jesus’ office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan!”<\/h3>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

And one from Ernie: A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, “What are all those clocks?” St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[42,285,318],"tags":[491,488,132,489,18,490,494,493,492],"class_list":["post-115","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-american","category-politics","category-religion","tag-clinton","tag-clock","tag-ernie","tag-fan","tag-heaven","tag-hillary","tag-lie","tag-political","tag-poltics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/115","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=115"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/115\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=115"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=115"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=115"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}