{"id":120,"date":"2008-05-15T13:22:02","date_gmt":"2008-05-15T18:22:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/?p=120"},"modified":"2008-05-15T13:25:54","modified_gmt":"2008-05-15T18:25:54","slug":"aaadd","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2008\/05\/15\/aaadd\/","title":{"rendered":"AAADD"},"content":{"rendered":"

From Diane:<\/p>\n

AAADD<\/span><\/h2>\n

KNOW THE SYMPTOMS ….. PLEASE READ!<\/h2>\n

Thank goodness there’s a name for this disorder.
\nSomehow I feel better,even though I have it!!<\/em><\/strong><\/h3>\n

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. –<\/span><\/h3>\n

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.<\/h1>\n

This is how it manifests:<\/h3>\n

I decide to water my garden.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

As I turn on the hose in the driveway,<\/h2>\n

I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.<\/h3>\n

As I start toward the garage,<\/h2>\n

I notice mail on the porch table that<\/h3>\n

I brought up from the mail box earlier.<\/h3>\n

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.<\/h2>\n

I lay my car keys on the table,<\/h2>\n

put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
\nand notice that the can is full.<\/h3>\n

So, I decide to put the bills back<\/h2>\n

on the table and take out the garbage first.<\/h3>\n

But then I think,<\/h3>\n

since I’m going to be near the mailbox<\/h3>\n

when I take out the garbage anyway,<\/h3>\n

I may as well pay the bills first.<\/h3>\n

I take my check book off the table,<\/h2>\n

and see that there is only one check left.<\/h3>\n

My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
\nso I go inside the house to my desk where
\nI find the can of Pepsi I’d been drinking.<\/h3>\n

I’m going to look for my checks,<\/h2>\n

but first I need to push the Pepsi aside<\/h3>\n

so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.<\/h3>\n

The Pepsi is getting warm,<\/h2>\n

and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.<\/h3>\n

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,<\/h2>\n

a vase of flowers on the counter<\/h2>\n

catches my eye–they need water.<\/h2>\n

I put the Pepsi on the counter and<\/h2>\n

discover my reading glasses that<\/h3>\n

I’ve been searching for all morning.<\/h3>\n

I decide I better put them back on my desk,<\/h2>\n

but first I’m going to water the flowers.<\/h3>\n

I set the glasses back down on the counter,<\/h2>\n

fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.<\/h3>\n

Someone left it on the kitchen table.<\/h3>\n

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,<\/h2>\n

I’ll be looking for the remote,<\/h3>\n

but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table,<\/h3>\n

so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,<\/h3>\n

but first I’ll water the flowers.<\/h3>\n

I pour some water in the flowers,<\/h2>\n

but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.<\/h3>\n

So, I set the remote back on the table,<\/h2>\n

get some towels and wipe up the spill.<\/h3>\n

Then, I head down the hall trying to<\/h2>\n

remember what I was planning to do.<\/h3>\n

At the end of the day:<\/h2>\n

the car isn’t washed<\/h3>\n

the bills aren’t paid<\/span><\/h3>\n

there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter<\/span><\/h3>\n

the flowers don’t have enough water,<\/span><\/h3>\n

there is still only 1 check in my check book,<\/span><\/h3>\n

I can’t find the remote,<\/span><\/h3>\n

I can’t find my glasses,<\/span><\/h3>\n

and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.<\/span><\/h3>\n

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,<\/h3>\n

I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day,<\/em><\/h3>\n

and I’m really tired.<\/em><\/h3>\n

I realize this is a serious problem,<\/h3>\n

and I’ll try to get some help for it,<\/h3>\n

but first I’ll check my e-mail….<\/h3>\n

Do me a favor.<\/h2>\n

Forward this message to everyone you know,<\/h3>\n

because I don’t remember who the hell I’ve sent it to.<\/h3>\n

Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your<\/em> day is coming!<\/h2>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From Diane: AAADD KNOW THE SYMPTOMS ….. PLEASE READ! Thank goodness there’s a name for this disorder. Somehow I feel better,even though I have it!! Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[444,5],"tags":[526,518,527,531,528,521,541,1965,523,544,545,548,546,529,549,530,534,245,519,520,535,532,31,533,540,539,524,175,537,542,1923,547,536,538,543,522,525,1959],"class_list":["post-120","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-medicine","category-old","tag-aaadd","tag-age","tag-age-activated","tag-age-activated-attention-deficit-disorder","tag-attention","tag-baffled","tag-bills","tag-car","tag-car-keys","tag-check-book","tag-cheque-book","tag-coke","tag-counter","tag-deficit","tag-diane","tag-disorder","tag-driveway","tag-elderly","tag-forget","tag-forgetfulness","tag-garage","tag-garden","tag-glasses","tag-hose","tag-junk-mail","tag-junkmail","tag-keys","tag-kitchen","tag-mail","tag-mailbox","tag-old","tag-pepsi","tag-porch","tag-post","tag-postbox","tag-problem","tag-symptoms","tag-tv"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/120","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=120"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/120\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=120"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=120"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=120"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}