{"id":130,"date":"2008-07-05T09:57:30","date_gmt":"2008-07-05T14:57:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/?p=130"},"modified":"2009-03-16T12:20:30","modified_gmt":"2009-03-16T17:20:30","slug":"the-dole","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2008\/07\/05\/the-dole\/","title":{"rendered":"The Dole"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>From Edel, I think this joke came from Amerika as it mentions welfare (which they don&#8217;t call it that in Ireland) and someone modified it for their Irish friend:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>At the dole office in New Ross a local traveller walked in to pick up his cheque.<br \/>\nHe marched straight up to the counter and said, &#8216;Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I&#8217;d really rather have a job.&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>The social worker behind the counter said, &#8216;Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;ll have to drive around in his 2007 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.<\/p>\n<p>Because of the long hours, meals will be provided.<br \/>\nYou&#8217;ll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips.<br \/>\nThis is rather awkward to say but you will also have, as part of your job assignment, to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20&#8217;s and has a rather strong sex drive.<\/p>\n<p>A two-bedroom loft type apartment with plasma TV, stereo, bar, etc. located above the garage, will be designated for your sole use and the salary is \u00cb\u2020200,000 a year.&#8217;<\/p>\n<p><strong>The Traveller just plain wide-eyed, said, &#8216; you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re bullshittin&#8217; me!&#8217;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong> The social worker said, &#8216; Yeah, well you started it.&#8217;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2008\/07\/05\/the-dole\/\">http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2008\/07\/05\/the-dole\/<br \/>\n<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>From Edel, I think this joke came from Amerika as it mentions welfare (which they don&#8217;t call it that in Ireland) and someone modified it for their Irish friend: At the dole office in New Ross a local traveller walked in to pick up his cheque. He marched straight up to the counter and said, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,110,102],"tags":[617,615,620,40,611,64,610,616,608,612,618,619,614,609,613,621],"class_list":["post-130","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-irish","category-tasteless","category-work","tag-apartment","tag-daughter","tag-dole","tag-edel","tag-gypsy","tag-ireland","tag-knacker","tag-meals","tag-mercedes-benz","tag-new-ross","tag-plasma-tv","tag-sex-drive","tag-social-worker","tag-traveller","tag-unemployment","tag-welfare"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/130","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=130"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/130\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":556,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/130\/revisions\/556"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=130"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=130"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=130"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}