{"id":152,"date":"2008-08-15T10:16:34","date_gmt":"2008-08-15T15:16:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/?p=152"},"modified":"2008-08-15T10:20:28","modified_gmt":"2008-08-15T15:20:28","slug":"crisis-as-dublin-floods","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2008\/08\/15\/crisis-as-dublin-floods\/","title":{"rendered":"Crisis as Dublin Floods"},"content":{"rendered":"

More from Edel! There’s been major flooding<\/a> in Dublin recently (Summer 2008) and this e-mail been doing the rounds:<\/p>\n

Finglas was hit badly by the\u00c2\u00a0 floods over the weekend. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering\u00c2\u00a0 ‘ Whaas da bleeeding Story ?’ ‘aaaaaawright bud’ and ‘fuuuucksake’.<\/h4>\n

The\u00c2\u00a0 flooding decimated the area causing approximately 30 euro worth of damage.<\/p>\n

Several priceless collections of mementos from Benidorm and Santa Ponsa were\u00c2\u00a0 damaged beyond repair.<\/p>\n

Three areas of historic burnt cars were destroyed.<\/p>\n

Many\u00c2\u00a0 locals were woken well before their welfare cheque arrived.<\/p>\n

RTE News reported\u00c2\u00a0 that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to\u00c2\u00a0 the terms with the fact that the damage had not been caused by illegal\u00c2\u00a0 means.<\/p>\n

One resident : Alexis Crystal Duffy, a 15 year old mother of 5 said\u00c2\u00a0 ‘It was such a F***in shock, me little wan Chardonnay Mercedes cem runnin inta\u00c2\u00a0 me bedruem cryin, Me youngisst two Tyler Morgan an Megan Brooklyn slept tru ih all. But I was bleeedin\u00c2\u00a0 shaken watchin F***in Rikki Laaake in da mornin’<\/p>\n

Apparently though, looting, muggings and incidental crime did carry on as usual.<\/p>\n

The Irish Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Strongbow, Dutch Gold, Frozen Pizzas, and\u00c2\u00a0 John Player Blue to the area to help stricken locals.
\nRescue workers are\u00c2\u00a0 still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal\u00c2\u00a0 belongings, which include Welfare Books and Jewelery including thousands of\u00c2\u00a0 Sovereign Rings, many large Medallions and Hash Leaf Shaped earrings from\u00c2\u00a0 Elizabeth Duke at Argos also\u00c2\u00a0 Fine Bone China from Tommy’s Wonderland of Value.<\/p>\n

This Appeal is to raise\u00c2\u00a0 money for food and clothing Parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up\u00c2\u00a0 in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after, items most needed\u00c2\u00a0 include:<\/h4>\n

    \n
  • Fake Burberry or Kappa Baseball Caps<\/li>\n
  • Hoodies (any type)<\/li>\n
  • Tommy Hilfiger Tracks Suits (his and hers)<\/li>\n
  • Nike\/Adidas Shell Suits\u00c2\u00a0 (female)<\/li>\n
  • White Donnay Sports Socks Rockport Boots (and any other items\u00c2\u00a0 usually sold in TK Maxx)<\/li>\n
  • Anything from Magic or Unique<\/li>\n
  • Food Parcels may\u00c2\u00a0 be harder to come by as refrigeration may be a problem, but are needed all the\u00c2\u00a0 same.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    Required Foodstuffs include:<\/h4>\n
      \n
    • McCains Oven Chips<\/li>\n
    • Heinz Baked\u00c2\u00a0 Beans<\/li>\n
    • Goodfellas Frozen Pizzas<\/li>\n
    • Coke\/Fanta<\/li>\n
    • Strongbow Cider<\/li>\n
    • Smirnoff Ice<\/li>\n
    • John Player Blue 15s<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

      And Remember That Your Cash\u00c2\u00a0 Contribution Also Counts !!!
      \nJust 22c buys a biro for filling in the\u00c2\u00a0 compensation forms and Bookies slips
      \nJust 5 euro buys chips, crisps and blue\u00c2\u00a0 fizzy drinks for a family of 9
      \nOnly 6 euro will pay for a packet of 20 Major\u00c2\u00a0 to calm the nerves of those affected.<\/p>\n

      Thank You Very Much For Your Help.<\/h4>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      More from Edel! There’s been major flooding in Dublin recently (Summer 2008) and this e-mail been doing the rounds: Finglas was hit badly by the\u00c2\u00a0 floods over the weekend. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering\u00c2\u00a0 ‘ Whaas da bleeeding Story ?’ ‘aaaaaawright bud’ and ‘fuuuucksake’. The\u00c2\u00a0 flooding decimated the area causing approximately 30 euro […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,110],"tags":[714,718,709,717,713,715,548,648,200,40,697,716,698,699,1964,711,701,712,64,1921,710,705,700,704,706,708,707,703,702],"class_list":["post-152","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-irish","category-tasteless","tag-baked-beans","tag-biro","tag-burberry","tag-cash","tag-chips","tag-cider","tag-coke","tag-crime","tag-dublin","tag-edel","tag-eire","tag-fanta","tag-finglas","tag-flooding","tag-food","tag-hilfiger","tag-historic","tag-hoodies","tag-ireland","tag-irish","tag-kappa","tag-looting","tag-mementos","tag-mercedes","tag-muggings","tag-nike","tag-pizza","tag-residents","tag-rte"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/152","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=152"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/152\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":157,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/152\/revisions\/157"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=152"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=152"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=152"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}