{"id":254,"date":"2008-10-23T12:39:40","date_gmt":"2008-10-23T17:39:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/?p=254"},"modified":"2008-11-19T23:19:49","modified_gmt":"2008-11-20T04:19:49","slug":"jesus-goes-into-a-bar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2008\/10\/23\/jesus-goes-into-a-bar\/","title":{"rendered":"Jesus goes into a bar"},"content":{"rendered":"

Here’s a bit of a sacrilegious one from Edel. It’s a very Irish themed joke, to really get the punchline you have to know that Tallaght<\/a> is a working class suburb of Dublin<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Jesus goes into a bar and sits at a table in the corner.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

An Australian, a German and a Tallaght man are in the bar. They’re staring at the man sitting by himself, at a table in the corner. He’s so familiar, and not recognizing him is driving them mad.<\/p>\n

They stare and stare, until suddenly the Tallaght man twigs: ‘My God, it’s Jesus!’<\/p>\n

Sure enough, it is Jesus nursing a pint.<\/p>\n

Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a pint of Becks.\u00c2\u00a0 Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another. After he’s finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio.<\/p>\n

He reaches for the hand of the German and shakes it thanking him for the Becks. When he lets go, the German gives a cry of amazement: ‘My God, the arthritis I’ve had for thirty years is gone. It’s a miracle!’<\/p>\n

Jesus then shakes the hand of the Aussie, thanking him for the lager.<\/p>\n

As he lets go, the man’s eyes widen in shock. ‘Strewth mate, the back pain I’ve had all my life is completely gone! It’s a miracle.’<\/p>\n

Jesus then approaches the Tallaght man, who knocks over a chair and a table trying to get away from the Son of God.<\/p>\n

‘What’s wrong?’ says Jesus.
\n
\n The Tallaght man shouts, ‘f**k off, I’m on disability benefit!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here’s a bit of a sacrilegious one from Edel. It’s a very Irish themed joke, to really get the punchline you have to know that Tallaght is a working class suburb of Dublin. Jesus goes into a bar and sits at a table in the corner. An Australian, a German and a Tallaght man are […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[266,3,318],"tags":[986,1979,989,988,483,985,990,1926,200,40,984,977,768,983,64,1921,980,508,979,987,982,981,978],"class_list":["post-254","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ill","category-irish","category-religion","tag-arthritis","tag-australian","tag-back","tag-back-pain","tag-bar","tag-becks","tag-disability-benefit","tag-drink","tag-dublin","tag-edel","tag-fosters","tag-german","tag-god","tag-guinness","tag-ireland","tag-irish","tag-jesus","tag-miracle","tag-oub","tag-pain","tag-pint","tag-son-of-god","tag-tallaght"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/254","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=254"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/254\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":286,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/254\/revisions\/286"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=254"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=254"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=254"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}