{"id":377,"date":"2009-01-10T12:28:27","date_gmt":"2009-01-10T17:28:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/?p=377"},"modified":"2009-01-10T12:28:27","modified_gmt":"2009-01-10T17:28:27","slug":"two-crocodiles","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2009\/01\/10\/two-crocodiles\/","title":{"rendered":"Two Crocodiles &#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>From Gina in Flordia, and she should know about &#8216;gators! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"font-family: Arial; color: black; font-size: large;\"><span style=\"font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: black; font-family: Arial;\">Two                                  Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the swamp                                  near the lake.<\/p>\n<p>The smaller one turned to                                  the bigger one and said, &#8216;I can&#8217;t understand how                                  you can be so much bigger than me. We&#8217;re the                                  same age; we were the same size as kids. I just                                  don&#8217;t get it.&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;Well,&#8217; said the big                                  Croc, &#8216;what have you been eating?&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;Politicians, same as you,&#8217; replied the                                  small Croc.<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;Hmm. Well, where do you                                  catch them?&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;Down the other side of the                                  swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol.&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;Well, I crawl up under one of their                                  Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car                                  door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg,                                  shake the shit out of them and eat &#8217;em!&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;Ah!&#8217; says the big Crocodile, &#8216;I think I                                  see your problem. You&#8217;re not getting any real                                  nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking                                  the shit out of a Politician, there&#8217;s nothing                                  left but an asshole and a briefcase <\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>From Gina in Flordia, and she should know about &#8216;gators! \ud83d\ude42 Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, &#8216;I can&#8217;t understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We&#8217;re the same age; we were the same size [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[42,191,285],"tags":[1296,1297,1294,1965,1289,1291,45,1292,1295,1298,1293,1958,671,1290],"class_list":["post-377","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-american","category-animals","category-politics","tag-asshole","tag-breifcase","tag-capitol","tag-car","tag-crocodiles","tag-gators","tag-gina","tag-lake","tag-lexus","tag-nourishment","tag-politicians","tag-politics","tag-shite","tag-swamp"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/377","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=377"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/377\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":378,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/377\/revisions\/378"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=377"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=377"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=377"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}