{"id":382,"date":"2009-01-13T00:03:14","date_gmt":"2009-01-13T05:03:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/?p=382"},"modified":"2009-01-13T00:03:14","modified_gmt":"2009-01-13T05:03:14","slug":"the-pastors-ass","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2009\/01\/13\/the-pastors-ass\/","title":{"rendered":"The Pastor&#8217;s Ass"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>From Edel:<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\">The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.<\/span><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\"> The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.The local paper read:<br \/>\n<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<h5><span style=\"font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\">PASTOR&#8217;S ASS OUT FRONT. <\/span><\/span><\/h5>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\"> <em>The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race<\/em>.The next day, the local paper headline read:<br \/>\n<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<h5><span style=\"font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\"> BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR&#8217;S ASS.<\/span><\/span><\/h5>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\"> This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:<br \/>\n<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<h5><span style=\"font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\"> NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.<\/span><\/span><\/h5>\n<p><em><span style=\"font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\"> The bishop fainted.<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\">He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.The next day the paper read:<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<h5><span style=\"font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\">NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.<!--more--><\/span><\/span><\/h5>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\"> This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p>The next day the headlines read:<\/p>\n<h5><span style=\"font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\"> NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.<\/span><\/span><\/h5>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\"> <em>The bishop was buried the next day.<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p>The moral of the story is . .. . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\">So be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else&#8217;s ass and you&#8217;ll be a lot happier and live longer!<br \/>\n<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2009\/01\/10\/the-pastors-ass\"><span id=\"sample-permalink\">http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2009\/01\/10\/<span id=\"editable-post-name\" title=\"Click to edit this part of the permalink\">the-pastors-ass<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>From Edel: The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.The local paper read: PASTOR&#8217;S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[88,318],"tags":[1304,511,1303,658,1020,40,260,156,177,723,1940,1305],"class_list":["post-382","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-priest","category-religion","tag-1304","tag-ass","tag-bishop","tag-church","tag-donkey","tag-edel","tag-free","tag-newspaper","tag-nun","tag-pastor","tag-priest","tag-wild"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/382","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=382"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/382\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":388,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/382\/revisions\/388"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=382"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=382"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=382"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}