{"id":412,"date":"2009-01-25T17:55:50","date_gmt":"2009-01-25T22:55:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/?p=412"},"modified":"2009-02-02T20:59:16","modified_gmt":"2009-02-03T01:59:16","slug":"10-things-not-to-say-to-the-cops","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2009\/01\/25\/10-things-not-to-say-to-the-cops\/","title":{"rendered":"10 things NOT to say to the cops!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Some fine advise from Ernie:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><span style=\"background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10.5pt; color: black;\">I can&#8217;t reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10.5pt; color: black;\">Sorry, Officer, I didn&#8217;t realize my radar detector wasn&#8217;t plugged in<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10.5pt; color: black;\">Aren&#8217;t you the guy from the Village People?<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10.5pt; color: black;\">Hey, you must&#8217;ve been doin&#8217; about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10.5pt; color: black;\">Are You Andy or Barney?<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10.5pt; color: black;\">I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10.5pt; color: black;\">You&#8217;re not gonna check the trunk, are you?<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10.5pt; color: black;\">I pay your salary!<!--more--><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10.5pt; color: black;\">Gee, Officer! That&#8217;s terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10.5pt; color: black;\">Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10.5pt; color: black;\">I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That&#8217;s how far ahead of me they are.<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10.5pt; color: black;\">When the Officer says &#8216;Gee Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?&#8217; You probably shouldn&#8217;t respond with,&#8217;Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?&#8217;<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2009\/01\/25\/what-not-to-say-to-the-cops\"><span id=\"sample-permalink\">http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2009\/01\/25\/<span id=\"editable-post-name\" title=\"Click to edit this part of the permalink\">what-not-to-say-to-the-cops<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Some fine advise from Ernie: I can&#8217;t reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas) Sorry, Officer, I didn&#8217;t realize my radar detector wasn&#8217;t plugged in Aren&#8217;t you the guy from the Village People? Hey, you must&#8217;ve been doin&#8217; about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! Are You Andy [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[475],"tags":[1385,50,645,1381,1383,1389,132,1390,1388,1382,1971,1325,1387,396,1386,1384,128],"class_list":["post-412","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-police","tag-125-mph","tag-beer","tag-cop","tag-cops","tag-donuts","tag-doughnuts","tag-ernie","tag-glazed","tag-office","tag-parking","tag-police","tag-red","tag-salary","tag-texas","tag-trunk","tag-village-people","tag-warning"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/412","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=412"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/412\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":473,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/412\/revisions\/473"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=412"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=412"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=412"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}