From Ernie:<\/p>\n
Can you imagine yourself\u00c2\u00a0as the nun\u00c2\u00a0sitting at her desk grading these papers all the while trying to keep a straight face and maintain her composure! <\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>Pay\u00c2\u00a0special\u00c2\u00a0attention\u00c2\u00a0to the\u00c2\u00a0wording & spelling. If\u00c2\u00a0you know the bible even a little,\u00c2\u00a0you’ll\u00c2\u00a0find this hilarious! \u00c2\u00a0It\u00c2\u00a0comes from a Catholic Elementary\u00c2\u00a0school test;\u00c2\u00a0kids were asked questions about the Old & New Testaments. The following statements\u00c2\u00a0were written by children -\u00c2\u00a0THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE; GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH’S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY; BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n 5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>6. \u00c2\u00a0SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>7 MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED \u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0SEA ! WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>8; THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS; MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT\u00c2\u00a0 CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENT<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE \u00c2\u00a0BATTLE OF GERITOL.<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS; A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>14. SOLOMON; ONE OF DAVIDS SONS; HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS; SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>17. \u00c2\u00a0JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>18. \u00c2\u00a0ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE; WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE \u00c2\u00a0TOMBSTONE \u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0OFF THE ENTRANCE.<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong>23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n