{"id":595,"date":"2009-04-21T21:10:52","date_gmt":"2009-04-22T02:10:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/?p=595"},"modified":"2009-04-21T21:10:52","modified_gmt":"2009-04-22T02:10:52","slug":"divorce-versus-murder","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2009\/04\/21\/divorce-versus-murder\/","title":{"rendered":"Divorce Versus Murder"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>From Ernie:<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10pt;\">A respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, &#8216;I would like to buy some cyanide..&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>The pharmacist asked, &#8216;Why in the world do you need cyanide?&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>The lady replied, &#8216;I need it to poison my husband.&#8217;<br \/>\n<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10pt;\">The pharmacist&#8217;s eyes got big and he exclaimed, &#8216;Lord have mercy! I can&#8217;t give you cyanide to kill your husband. That&#8217;s against the law! I&#8217;ll lose my license! They&#8217;ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen.. Absolutely not!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10pt;\">You CANNOT have any cyanide!&#8217;<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10pt;\">The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist&#8217;s wife.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;\"><span style=\"font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10pt;\">The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, &#8216;Well now, that&#8217;s different. You didn&#8217;t tell me you had a prescription<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I need it to poison my husband.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[186,38,90,39],"tags":[1691,560,1687,132,1690,69,1688,1689,597,1686,119],"class_list":["post-595","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marriage","category-men","category-sex","category-women","tag-affair","tag-bed","tag-cyanide","tag-ernie","tag-gaol","tag-husband","tag-infidelity","tag-jail","tag-pharmacist","tag-pharmacy","tag-wife"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/595","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=595"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/595\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":596,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/595\/revisions\/596"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=595"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=595"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=595"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}