From Ernie:<\/p>\n
A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. \u00c2\u00a0The<\/span> doctor comes in and informs the<\/span> dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The<\/span> son is just a head! \u00c2\u00a0But the<\/span> dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.<\/p>\n After 21 years, the<\/span> son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the<\/span> bar, tearfully tells the<\/span> son he is proud of<\/span> him and orders up the<\/span> biggest, strongest drink for his boy. \u00c2\u00a0With all the<\/span> bar patrons looking on curiously and the<\/span> bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the<\/span> boy takes his first sip of<\/span> alcohol<\/span>.<\/p>\n Swoooosh! \u00c2\u00a0Plop! \u00c2\u00a0A torso pops out! \u00c2\u00a0The<\/span> bar is dead silent; then bursts into whoops of<\/span> joy. \u00c2\u00a0The<\/span> father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. \u00c2\u00a0The<\/span> patrons chant, “Take another drink!”<\/p>\n The<\/span> bartender continues to shake his head in dismay . Swoooosh! Plip! Plop! \u00c2\u00a0Two arms pop out.<\/p>\n The<\/span> bar goes wild. \u00c2\u00a0The<\/span> father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The<\/span> patrons chant, “Take another drink! \u00c2\u00a0Take another drink!” By now the<\/span> boy is getting tipsy, but with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the<\/span> last of<\/span> it. \u00c2\u00a0Plop! Plip! Two legs pop out. \u00c2\u00a0The<\/span> bar is in chaos.<\/p>\n The<\/span> father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The<\/span> boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the<\/span> left then staggers to the<\/span> right through the<\/span> front door, into the<\/span> street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly. \u00c2\u00a0The<\/span> bar falls silent.<\/p>\n The<\/span> father moans in grief. The<\/span> bartender sighs and says, *<\/p>\n (Wait for it.)<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n (It’s coming.)<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n * *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *\u00c2\u00a0(Don’t hate me!)<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *\u00c2\u00a0(Yer gonna hate me!)<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *\u00c2\u00a0(Take a deep breath)<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n * From Ernie: A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. \u00c2\u00a0The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! \u00c2\u00a0But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,46],"tags":[321,726,727,1926,132],"class_list":["post-623","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-drink","category-funny","tag-alcohol","tag-barman","tag-bartender","tag-drink","tag-ernie"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/623","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=623"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/623\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":675,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/623\/revisions\/675"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=623"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=623"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=623"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nThe<\/span> bartender ignores the<\/span> whole affair and goes back to polishing glasses, shaking his head, clearly unimpressed by the<\/span> amazing scenes.<\/p>\n
\n
\n*<\/p>\n
\n(Ya ready?)<\/p>\n
\n” He should’ve quit while he was a head!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"