{"id":682,"date":"2009-12-06T11:13:12","date_gmt":"2009-12-06T16:13:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/?p=682"},"modified":"2009-12-06T11:21:42","modified_gmt":"2009-12-06T16:21:42","slug":"cooter-and-gomer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2009\/12\/06\/cooter-and-gomer\/","title":{"rendered":"Cooter and Gomer."},"content":{"rendered":"

From Ernie:<\/p>\n

Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly.<\/p>\n

The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together.<\/p>\n

Cooter arrived first and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, \u00c2\u00a0Cooter said, ‘Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. \u00c2\u00a0You better roll him over.’<\/em><\/p>\n

The mortician rolls him over and Cooter says, ‘Nope, ain’t Stanley .’<\/em><\/p>\n

The mortician thinks this is rather strange, so he brings Gomer in to \u00c2\u00a0confirm the identity of the body.<\/p>\n

Gomer looks at the body and says, ‘Yup, he’s pretty well burnt up. Roll him over.’ <\/em><\/p>\n

The mortician rolls him over and Gomer says, ‘No, it ain’t Stanley ‘<\/em><\/p>\n

The mortician asks, ‘How can you tell?’<\/em><\/p>\n

Gomer says, ‘Well, Stanley had two assholes.’<\/em><\/p>\n

‘What? \u00c2\u00a0He had two assholes?’<\/em> asks the mortician.<\/p>\n

‘Yup, we never seen ’em, but everybody used to say:<\/em><\/p>\n

‘There’s Stanley with them two assholes!’<\/em><\/h4>\n

http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2009\/12\/06\/cooter-and-gomer\/<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From Ernie: Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together. Cooter arrived first and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, \u00c2\u00a0Cooter said, ‘Yup, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1738,38],"tags":[1787,1296,1788,1981,132,145,1969,1789,1790],"class_list":["post-682","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dead","category-men","tag-arsehole","tag-asshole","tag-cooter","tag-dead","tag-ernie","tag-fire","tag-friends","tag-gomer","tag-mortician"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/682","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=682"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/682\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":683,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/682\/revisions\/683"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=682"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=682"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=682"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}