From Ernie!<\/p>\n
These great questions and answers are from the days when ‘ Hollywood Squares’ game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course..<\/p>\n
Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?<\/p>\n
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
\n(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)<\/p>\n
Q. Do female frogs croak?<\/p>\n
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.<\/p>\n
Q. If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be<\/p>\n
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.<\/p>\n
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years…<\/p>\n
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.<\/p>\n
Q. You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?<\/p>\n
A. Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake.<\/p>\n
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he’s married?
\nA.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.<\/p>\n
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
\nA. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..<\/p>\n
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say ‘I Love You’?
\nA. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty..<\/p>\n
Q. What are ‘Do It,’ ‘I Can Help,’ and ‘I Can’t Get Enough’?
\nA. George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.<\/p>\n
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?<\/p>\n
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll never forget.<\/p>\n
Q. Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?
\nA. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.<\/p>\n
Q.. Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
\nA.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I’m too busy growing strawberries.<\/p>\n
Q. In bowling, what’s a perfect score?
\nA. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.<\/p>\n
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.. One is politics, what is the other?
\nA. Paul Lynde: Tape measures..<\/p>\n
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
\nA. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom.<\/p>\n
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
\nA.. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.<\/p>\n
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
\nA. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?<\/p>\n
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
\nA. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..<\/p>\n
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
\nA. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.<\/p>\n
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
\nA. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn’t neglected.<\/p>\n
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
\nA. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.<\/p>\n
`Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
\nA. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?<\/p>\n
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
\nA.. Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car, the rest is up to him<\/p>\n
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
\nA. Charley Weaver: His feet.<\/p>\n