{"id":712,"date":"2010-11-14T20:04:12","date_gmt":"2010-11-15T01:04:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/?p=712"},"modified":"2010-11-14T20:09:18","modified_gmt":"2010-11-15T01:09:18","slug":"morning-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2010\/11\/14\/morning-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"Morning Sex"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>This is one of the funniest jokes I&#8217;ve received in a while. Thanks for the Ernie!<\/p>\n<p>She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the &#8216;T&#8217; shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, &#8220;You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve got to make love to me this very moment!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>My eyes lit up and I thought, &#8220;I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.<\/p>\n<p>Afterwards she said, &#8220;Thanks,&#8221; and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.<\/p>\n<p>Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, &#8220;What was that all about?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>She explained, <!--more--><\/p>\n<h2><strong>&#8220;The egg timer&#8217;s broken.&#8221;<\/strong><\/h2>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This is one of the funniest jokes I&#8217;ve received in a while. Thanks for the Ernie! She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the &#8216;T&#8217; shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, &#8220;You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[367,186,90],"tags":[1829,1830,132,1949,1941],"class_list":["post-712","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-food","category-marriage","category-sex","tag-breakast","tag-eggs","tag-ernie","tag-marriage","tag-sex"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/712","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=712"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/712\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":718,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/712\/revisions\/718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=712"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=712"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=712"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}