{"id":787,"date":"2011-06-30T17:32:15","date_gmt":"2011-06-30T22:32:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/?p=787"},"modified":"2011-06-30T17:32:29","modified_gmt":"2011-06-30T22:32:29","slug":"when-i-die-sell-all-my-stuff","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/2011\/06\/30\/when-i-die-sell-all-my-stuff\/","title":{"rendered":"When I Die Sell All My Stuff"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The wife and I were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy Sunday morning.<br \/>\nI said to her, &#8220;If I were to die suddenly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Now why would you want me to do something like that?&#8221; she asked.<br \/>\n&#8220;I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don&#8217;t want some other a**hole using my stuff..&#8221;<br \/>\nShe looked at me and said: &#8220;What makes you think I&#8217;d marry another a**hole?&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The wife and I were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy Sunday morning. I said to her, &#8220;If I were to die suddenly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff.&#8221; &#8220;Now why would you want me to do something like that?&#8221; she asked. &#8220;I figure that you would eventually remarry and I [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1738,186,38,39],"tags":[1876,789,132,1949,1875],"class_list":["post-787","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dead","category-marriage","category-men","category-women","tag-breakfast","tag-death","tag-ernie","tag-marriage","tag-remarry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/787","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=787"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/787\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":789,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/787\/revisions\/789"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=787"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=787"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=787"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}