A WOMAN’S POEM:<\/p>\n
Before I lay me down to sleep,
\nI pray for a man who’s not a creep,
\nOne who’s handsome, smart and strong.
\nOne who loves to listen long,
\nOne who thinks before he speaks,
\nOne who’ll call, not wait for weeks.
\nI pray he’s rich and self-employed,
\nAnd when I spend, won’t be annoyed.
\nPull out my chair and hold my hand.
\nMassage my feet and help me stand.
\nOh send a king to make me queen.
\nA man who loves to cook and clean.
\nI pray this man will love no other.
\nAnd relish visits with my mother.<\/p>\n
A MAN’S POEM:<\/p>\n
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with big t*ts who owns a bar on a golf course, and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This doesn’t rhyme and I don’t give a sh*t.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A WOMAN’S POEM: Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who’s not a creep, One who’s handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who’ll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he’s rich and self-employed, And when I spend, won’t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,38,90,39],"tags":[1899,40,863,743,1897,1900,1901,1898],"class_list":["post-807","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-drink","category-men","category-sex","category-women","tag-creep","tag-edel","tag-handsome","tag-love","tag-nymphomaniac","tag-smart","tag-strong","tag-valentines"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/807","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=807"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/807\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":811,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/807\/revisions\/811"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=807"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=807"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=807"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}