From Ernie:<\/p>\n
A young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her.<\/p>\n
“You have so much to live for,” said the man. “I’m a sailor, and we are off to Italy tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I’ll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy.”<\/p>\n
With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Italy, the woman accepted.<\/p>\n
That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine, and make love to her until dawn.<\/p>\n
Three weeks later she was discovered by the Captain during a routine inspection.<\/p>\n
“What are you doing here?” asked the Captain.<\/p>\n
“I have an arrangement with one of the sailors,” she replied. “He brings me food and I get a free trip to Italy.”<\/p>\n
“I see,” the Captain says.<\/p>\n
Her conscience got the best of her and she added, “Plus, he’s screwing me.”<\/p>\n
“He certainly is,” replied the Captain. “This is the Staten Island Ferry.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
From Ernie: A young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her. “You have so much to live for,” said the man. “I’m a sailor, and we are […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[42,16,38,90,63,39],"tags":[1323,1909,478,132,1911,583,1912,1908,1907,1913,1317,1701,1910],"class_list":["post-820","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-american","category-italian","category-men","category-sex","category-weather","category-women","tag-captain","tag-cheeky","tag-depressed","tag-ernie","tag-ferry","tag-italy","tag-make-love","tag-mischievous","tag-new-york","tag-red-wine","tag-sailor","tag-sandwich","tag-staten-island-ferry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/820","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=820"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/820\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":824,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/820\/revisions\/824"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=820"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=820"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.timony.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=820"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}