Jesus goes into a bar

Here’s a bit of a sacrilegious one from Edel. It’s a very Irish themed joke, to really get the punchline you have to know that Tallaght is a working class suburb of Dublin.

Jesus goes into a bar and sits at a table in the corner.

An Australian, a German and a Tallaght man are in the bar. They’re staring at the man sitting by himself, at a table in the corner. He’s so familiar, and not recognizing him is driving them mad.

They stare and stare, until suddenly the Tallaght man twigs: ‘My God, it’s Jesus!’

Sure enough, it is Jesus nursing a pint.

Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a pint of Becks.  Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another. After he’s finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio.

He reaches for the hand of the German and shakes it thanking him for the Becks. When he lets go, the German gives a cry of amazement: ‘My God, the arthritis I’ve had for thirty years is gone. It’s a miracle!’

Jesus then shakes the hand of the Aussie, thanking him for the lager.

As he lets go, the man’s eyes widen in shock. ‘Strewth mate, the back pain I’ve had all my life is completely gone! It’s a miracle.’

Jesus then approaches the Tallaght man, who knocks over a chair and a table trying to get away from the Son of God.

‘What’s wrong?’ says Jesus.

The Tallaght man shouts, ‘f**k off, I’m on disability benefit!

23 / October / 2008  ill, irish, religion 

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