For all the Blondies

Sorry, another bad blonde joke, from Ernie!

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he’s doing a show in a small town in Tasmania, Australia.

With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting:

“I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes! What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the colour of a person’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being! Its men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as people! Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general… and all in the name of humour!”

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, “You stay out of this, mate! I’m talking to that little shit on your lap!!!”

14 / November / 2010  Australian, blonde  Comentarios (0)

Naked Cowboy

A Sheriff in a small town in Texas walks out in the street and sees a blond haired cowboy coming toward him with nothing on but his cowboy hat, his gun and his boots. He arrests him for indecent exposure.

As he is locking him up, he asks 'Why in the world are you walking around like this?'

The cowboy says, 'Well it's like this Sheriff ....

I was in this bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did.

We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt... So I did.

Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants... So I did.

Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts...so I did.

Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, 'Now go to town cowboy.. '

'And here I am.'

Son of a Gun.  Blonde Men do exist

8 / July / 2009  american, blonde, women  Comentarios (0)

The young blonde

And another from Ernie:

A young blonde woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself from the Cape Cod Bourne Bridge. She was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the bridge, crying.He took pity on her and said “Look, you have so much to live for. I’m off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship and you can start a new life in Europe … I’ll take good care of you and bring you food everyday”.

“How can I repay you for such kindness” she asked. “Just let me make love to you each night…”

The blonde agreed.  That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat.

From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn. Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain.

“What are you doing here?” the captain asked. “I have an arrangement with one of the sailors, whose stowed me away”
she explained “I get food and free passage to Europe and he’s screwing me”.

"He certainly is", the captain said.

"This is the Martha's Vineyard Ferry."

14 / January / 2009  blonde, sex  Comentarios (0)

PREGNANT TURKEY STORY

I was away over Thanksgiving and missed all the Thanksgiving jokes that! So better late than never, here the first Thanksgiving joke from, who else but Ernie!

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister’s house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store.

When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.

When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing.

When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird. With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, ‘Patricia, you’ve cooked a pregnant bird!

‘At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.

It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!

Yep………………

SHE’S BLONDE!

30 / November / 2008  american, blonde, family, food  Comentarios (0)

Horse Potty

And another great joke from Ernie! This must be the anti-blonde blonde joke!

A Guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde.
He immediately turns to her and makes his move. ‘You know,’ he says, ‘I’ve heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let’s talk.’

The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy,

‘What would you like to discuss?’

‘Oh, I don’t know,’ says the guy. ‘How about nuclear power?’

‘OK,’ says the blonde. ‘That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff–grass. Yet the deer excretes  little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?’

The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, ‘I haven’t the slightest idea.’

‘So tell me,’ says the blonde, ‘How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know shit.’

16 / October / 2008  animals, blonde  Comentarios (0)