Tag: ireland
You might need to be Irish to get this one! 🙂 But, Joe Dolan was an Irish singer whose career started in the late 1960’s and extended to his death in late 2007.
Ok, here’s the joke:
As it’s March the 1st and we’re approaching Saint Patrick’s Day (and the abberviation of Patrick is Paddy not Patty), time for some Irish jokes!
From a friend of Trish’s:
(Supposed) Actual Personal Ads in Dublin, Ireland:
Heavy drinker, 35, Cork area. seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in a man who loves his pints, cigarettes, Glasgow Celtic football club, and has been known to starting fights on Patrick street at 3 am.
bitter, disillusioned Dublin man, lately rejected by longtime fiancée, seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches.
ginger haired Galway man, a troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shirty after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more.
bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard, living in a damp cottage in the arse end of Roscommon, seeks attractive 21 yr. old blonde lady, with a lovely chest.
limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27th, between 8:00 pm and 11:30 pm.
optimistic mayo man, 35, seeks a blonde 20 yr. old double-jointed supermodel, who owns her own brewery, and has an open-minded twin sister.
A curious fellow died one day and found himself in limbo waiting in a long, long line for judgment. As he stood here, he noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through the gates of heaven. Others were led over to Satan, who threw them into a lake of fire. Every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would toss him or her to one side. After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow’s curiosity got the better of him. He strolled over and tapped Old Nick on the shoulder.
“Excuse me, there, Your Darkness,” he said. “I ‘m waiting in line for judgment, and I couldn’t help wondering why you are tossing some people aside instead of flinging them into the fires of hell with the others?”
“Ah,” Satan said with a grin. “Those are the Irish. I’m letting them dry out so they’ll burn.”
What do you call two straight days of rain in Ireland ? A weekend.
It only rains twice a year in Ireland : August through April and May through July.
What’s the definition of an Irish optimist? A guy with a sun visor on his rain hat.
“I can ‘t believe it,” said the tourist. “I’ve been here an entire week and it ‘s done nothing but rain. When do you have summer here?”
“Well, that’ s hard to say,” replied the local. “Last year, it was on a Wednesday.”