Jokes ….

And even more from Edel:
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Reason Why It’s So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:

All the DNA is the same.
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I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming.

Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.
Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, ‘So which six items would you like to buy?’

Wouldn’t it be great if that happened more often?

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Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbour and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a table.  ‘Young man, we’re both 90 years old,’ the husband said . ‘We may not have 45 minutes.’
They were seated immediately.

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The reason members of parliament try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they’ve passed.

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Three friends from the local congregation were asked, ‘When you’re in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?’
Artie said: ‘I would like them to say I  was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.’

Eugene commented: ‘I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people’s lives.’

Al said: ‘I’d like them to say, ‘Look, he’s moving!’
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Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.

Looking up, he asks the Lord… ‘God, what does a million years mean to you?’
The Lord replies, ‘A minute.’
Smith asks, ‘And what does a million dollars mean to you?’
The Lord replies, ‘A penny.’
Smith asks, ‘Can I have a penny?’

The Lord replies, ‘In a minute.’

18 / October / 2008  funny, government, health, old, religion, retirement 

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