Jokes ….

And even more from Edel:
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Reason Why It’s So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:

All the DNA is the same.
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I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming.

Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.
Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, ‘So which six items would you like to buy?’

Wouldn’t it be great if that happened more often?

(more…)

‘Walking Eagle’

From Edel:

‘Walking Eagle’ – Senator BARACK OBAMA was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation two weeks ago in upstate New York.
He spoke for almost an hour on HIS future plans for increasing every Native American’s present standard of living, should HE one day become the President. HE referred to his career as a Senator, how he had signed ‘YES’ for every Indian issue that came to his desk for approval. Although the Senator was vague on the details of his plan, he seemed most enthusiastic about his future ideas for helping his ‘red sisters and brothers’.
At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented the Senator with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name – Walking Eagle. The proud Senator then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds.
A news reporter later inquired to the group of chiefs of how they came to select the new name had given to the Senator.

They explained that “Walking Eagle” is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.

9 / August / 2008  american, government, politics  Comentarios (0)

Psalm 2004

I forget who sent me this one:

Bush is my shepherd, I shall be in want.
He maketh me to lie down on park benches.
He leadeth me beside the still factories.
He restoreth my doubts about the Republican Party.
He leadeth me onto the paths of unemployment for his cronies’ sake.
Yea, though no weapons of mass destruction have been found,
He makest me continue to fear Evil.
His tax cuts for the rich and his deficit spending discomfort me.
He anointest me with never-ending debt:
Verily my days of savings and assets are kaput.
Surely poverty and hard living shall follow me all the days of his
administration,
And my jobless child shall dwell in my basement forever

22 / July / 2008  american, government, politics  Comentarios (0)

Amen!

And from Tom R:

We here in Ireland, can’t figure out why people are even bothering to hold an election in the United States.

On one side, you have a bitch who is a lawyer, married to a lawyer, running against a lawyer, who is married to a bitch, who is a lawyer.

On the other side, you have a war hero married to a good looking woman, who owns a beer distributorship.

What are you lads thinking over there?

Government Job

Harry Peters went to the Australian Tax Office for a job interview.
The interviewer looks at his resume and asks him, “Are you a veteran?”

“Yes, I served 8 years in the army.”

“Good, that counts in your favour. Do you have any service-related disabilities?”

“I am 100% disabled. A mortar blew off my testicles so they declared me disabled. It doesn’t affect my ability to work, though.”

“Sorry to hear about the damage, but I have some good news for you. I can hire you right now! Our working hours are 8 to 4. Come on in about 10 tomorrow, and we’ll get you started.”

“If working hours are from 8 to 4, why do you want me to come at 10?”

“Well, this is a government organization. We don’t do anything but sit around and scratch our balls for the first two hours. No point your coming in for that.”

27 / February / 2008  government, men, work  Comentarios (0)