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car men nuns sex

The nun and the taxi driver.

From Edel:

A cabbie  picks up a Nun.

She gets into  the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is  staring.
He  replies: ‘I have a question to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.’
She answers, ‘My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.’

‘Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to  have sex with a nun.’

She responds, ‘Well, let’s see what we can do about that:
#1, You have to be single
#2, You must be Catholic.
#3, I have to save my virginity, you will have to enter me from behind.

The cab driver is very excited and  says, ‘Yes, I’m single,  Catholic, and I’m happy to enter from behind!’

‘OK’  the  nun says. ‘Pull into the next alley.’

The nun fulfills his  fantasy, in a way that would make a hooker blush.

But when they  get back on the road, the cab driver starts  crying.

‘My dear  child,’ says the nun, ‘why are you crying?’

‘Forgive me but  I’ve sinned.  I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m  Jewish..’

Categories
funny men one-liners women

The Perfect Man

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by.

He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.

Passenger: “Who?”

Cabbie:Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right – all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.”

Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”

Cabbie:Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.”

Passenger: “Sounds like he was something really special.”

Cabbie: “There’s more…….He had a memory like a computer. Could remember everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out.

But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right.”

Passenger: “Wow, some guy then.”

Cabbie: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams, not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake.”

Passenger: “Mmm, there’s not many like him around.”

Cabbie: “And he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good and never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too – he was the perfect man!
He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.

Passenger: “An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?”

Cabbie:Well, I never actually met Frank.

Passenger: “Then how do you know so much about him?”

Click to see the punch line! 🙂