Categories
american naked politics religion

HOW TO SAVE THE AIRLINES?

And another slightly political, but guaranteed to insult many, joke from Ernie!

How to save the Airlines:

Dump the male flight attendants No one wanted them in the first place.

Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell — They don’t even serve food anymore, so what’s the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a ‘party
atmosphere’ going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn’t need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and ‘special services.’

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.

This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right — a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn’t Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?

Sincerely,

Bill Clinton

http://www.timony.com/jokes/2008/12/17/how-to-save-the-airlineshow-to-save-the-airlines/

Categories
fortune Light Blub

Marketing?

From the Linux fortune command:

Q: How many marketing people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I’ll have to get back to you on that.

Categories
drink

Retirement Planning

From Dora:

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

If you had purchased $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer/wine one year ago, drank all the beer/wine, then turned in the cans/bottles for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have had $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

Let people you care about know… and tell them to Start Now!!!