Tag: grandma

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men old women

3 Old Grannies!

Three old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. When an old Grandpa walked by. And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying,

“We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.”

The old man said,

“There is no way you can guess it, you old fools.”

One of the old Grandmas said,

“Sure we can! – Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age.”

Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn’t do it, he dropped his drawers. The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times.
Then they all piped up and said,

“You’re 87 years old!”

Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked,

“How in the world did you guess?”

Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison…

Continue reading “3 Old Grannies!”
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funny

Buying a Fishing Rod

From Ernie:

A woman goes into a store to buy a fishing rod and reel for her grandson’s birthday.  She doesn’t know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. The salesman is standing there, wearing dark glasses. She says, ” Excuse me. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?” He says, “Madam, I’m completely blind; but, if you’ll drop it on the  counter, I can tell you everything youneed to know about it from the sound it makes.” She doesn’t believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.
He says, “That’s a two meter Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404  reel and 5-kg. test line. It’s a good all around combination,and it’s on sale this week for $44.”
She says, “It’s amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I’lltake it!” As
she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.
“Oh ,that sounds like a Visa card,” says the salesman.
As the lady bends down to pick up the card, she accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed but then realizes there is no way  the blind salesman could tell it was she who had farted.
The salesman rings up the sale and says, “That’ll be $58.50 please.”
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, “Didn’t you tell me it was on sale for $44?. How did you get to $58.50?”
“The Duck Caller is $11 and the Fish Bait is $3.50.” he replys.

http://www.timony.com/jokes/2009/02/11/buying-a-fishing-rod

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american family men naked old sex

One Bad Biker

And more from Ernie!

A drunk walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar, and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three tough-looking bikers sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, looks the biggest, meanest biker in the face, and says, “I went by your grandma’s house today and I saw her in the hallway buck-naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!” 

The biker looks at him and doesn’t say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and always gets into fights at the drop of a hat. 
The drunk leans on the table again and says, “I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!” 
The biker’s buddies are starting to get upset, but the biker still says nothing. 
The drunk leans over one more time and says, “I’ll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!” 
At this point, the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders, looks him square in the eyes and says, “Grandpa, go home, you’re drunk!”