- It’s important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
- It’s important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.
- It’s important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you.
- It’s important to have a woman, who is good in bed  and who likes to be with you.
- It’s very, very important that these four women  do not know each other.
Tag: laugh
And the first one from Gerry, with a load of English specific jokes:
6th Place
It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: ‘Would you like dinner?’ the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row. ‘What are my choices?’ the man asked. Â ‘Yes or no,’ she replied.
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5th Place
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without blinking an eyelid she said, ‘Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.’
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4th Place
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury’s but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a passing assistant, ‘Do these turkeys get any bigger?’ The assistant replied, ‘ I’m afraid not, they’re dead.’
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3rd Place
The policeman got out of his car and approached the boy racer he stopped for speeding. ‘I’ve been waiting for you all day,’ the bobby said. The kid replied, ‘Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.’
When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
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2nd Place
A lorry (truck) driver was driving along on a country road.A sign came up that read ‘ Low Bridge Ahead. ‘Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry’s cab and said to the driver, Â ‘Got stuck, eh?’ The lorry driver said, ‘No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol (gas)!’
From Ernie:
How to treat a woman:
Wine her. Â Dine her. Â Call her. Hold her. Â Surprise her. Compliment her. Â Smile at her. Â Listen to her. Laugh with her. Cry with her. Â Romance her. Encourage her. Believe in her. Pray with her. Pray for her. Cuddle with her. Shop with her. Â Give her jewelry. Buy her flowers. Hold her hand. Â Write love letters to her. Go to the ends of the earth and back again for her.
How to Treat a Man::