A funny ironic one from Diz:
Great photo-shopping job whomever created this! 🙂 Anyone know where the original image came from?
Category: politics
Categories
‘Walking Eagle’
From Edel:
‘Walking Eagle’ – Senator BARACK OBAMA was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation two weeks ago in upstate New York.
He spoke for almost an hour on HIS future plans for increasing every Native American’s present standard of living, should HE one day become the President. HE referred to his career as a Senator, how he had signed ‘YES’ for every Indian issue that came to his desk for approval. Although the Senator was vague on the details of his plan, he seemed most enthusiastic about his future ideas for helping his ‘red sisters and brothers’.
At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented the Senator with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name – Walking Eagle. The proud Senator then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds.
A news reporter later inquired to the group of chiefs of how they came to select the new name had given to the Senator.
They explained that “Walking Eagle” is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.
Categories
Psalm 2004
I forget who sent me this one:
Bush is my shepherd, I shall be in want.
He maketh me to lie down on park benches.
He leadeth me beside the still factories.
He restoreth my doubts about the Republican Party.
He leadeth me onto the paths of unemployment for his cronies’ sake.
Yea, though no weapons of mass destruction have been found,
He makest me continue to fear Evil.
His tax cuts for the rich and his deficit spending discomfort me.
He anointest me with never-ending debt:
Verily my days of savings and assets are kaput.
Surely poverty and hard living shall follow me all the days of his
administration,
And my jobless child shall dwell in my basement forever
And from Tom R:
We here in Ireland, can’t figure out why people are even bothering to hold an election in the United States.
On one side, you have a bitch who is a lawyer, married to a lawyer, running against a lawyer, who is married to a bitch, who is a lawyer.
On the other side, you have a war hero married to a good looking woman, who owns a beer distributorship.
What are you lads thinking over there?
And one from Ernie:
A man died and went to heaven.
As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, “What are all those clocks?”
St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.”
“Oh,” said the man, “Whose clock is that?”
“That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”
“Incredible,” said the man. “And whose clock is that one?”
St. Peter responded, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.”
“Where’s Hillary Clinton’s clock?” asked the man.
“Hillary’s clock is in Jesus’ office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan!”
This one’s from Ernie, he sure does like his political jokes:
George Bush goes to a primary school to talk to the kids to get a little PR. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him his name.
“Stanley,” responds the little boy.
“And what is your question, Stanley?”
“I have 4 questions:
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?
Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?”
Fourth, why are we so worried about gay-marriage when 1/2 of all Americans don’t have health insurance?
Just then, the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume George says, “OK, where were we? Oh, that’s right: question time. Who has a question?”
Another little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him his name.
“Steve,” he responds.
“And what is your question, Steve?”
“Actually, I have 6 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?
Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Fourth, why are we so worried about gay marriage when 1/2 of all Americans don’t have health insurance?
Fifth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
And sixth, what the hell happened to Stanley?”
Non-partisan? Politically correct? We’ll see!:)
THIS IS A NONPARTISAN JOKE THAT CAN BE ENJOYED BY BOTH PARTIES!
NOT ONLY THAT? IT IS POLITICALLY CORRECT!!
While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
Ă‚Â “Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”
“No problem, just let me in,” says the man.
Ă‚Â “Well, I’d like to, but IĂ‚Â have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spendĂ‚Â eternity.”
“Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,”Ă‚Â says the senator.
Ă‚Â “I’m sorry, but we have our rules.”
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
EveryoneĂ‚Â gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevatorĂ‚Â rises…
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
Ă‚Â “Now it’s time to visit heaven.”
So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
Ă‚Â “Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell andĂ‚Â another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.”
The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers:
Ă‚Â “Well, I would never have said itĂ‚Â before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.”
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors ofĂ‚Â the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered withĂ‚Â waste andĂ‚Â garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.
Ă‚Â “I don’t understand,” stammers the senator. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a greatĂ‚Â time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?”
The devil looks at him, smiles and says,