Tag: nun

Categories
priest religion

The Pastor’s Ass

From Edel:

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.The local paper read:

PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.The next day, the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted.

He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

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Categories
car men nuns sex

The nun and the taxi driver.

From Edel:

A cabbie  picks up a Nun.

She gets into  the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is  staring.
He  replies: ‘I have a question to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.’
She answers, ‘My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.’

‘Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to  have sex with a nun.’

She responds, ‘Well, let’s see what we can do about that:
#1, You have to be single
#2, You must be Catholic.
#3, I have to save my virginity, you will have to enter me from behind.

The cab driver is very excited and  says, ‘Yes, I’m single,  Catholic, and I’m happy to enter from behind!’

‘OK’  the  nun says. ‘Pull into the next alley.’

The nun fulfills his  fantasy, in a way that would make a hooker blush.

But when they  get back on the road, the cab driver starts  crying.

‘My dear  child,’ says the nun, ‘why are you crying?’

‘Forgive me but  I’ve sinned.  I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m  Jewish..’

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Categories
funny sex

7 Kinds of Sex

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say “screw you.”

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex, which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night.

The 6th kind is called: Courtroom Sex: This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

And last, but not least, the 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex.

You get a little each month. But not enough to live on.