I forget who sent me this one:
Bush is my shepherd, I shall be in want.
He maketh me to lie down on park benches.
He leadeth me beside the still factories.
He restoreth my doubts about the Republican Party.
He leadeth me onto the paths of unemployment for his cronies' sake.
Yea, though no weapons of mass destruction have been found,
He makest me continue to fear Evil.
His tax cuts for the rich and his deficit spending discomfort me.
He anointest me with never-ending debt:
Verily my days of savings and assets are kaput.
Surely poverty and hard living shall follow me all the days of his
And my jobless child shall dwell in my basement forever
And a great one all the from Gina in Florida:
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
THE SCENARIO OPENS AS:
A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix.
The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch. Worried that he may have had a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got enough courage to pull his hospital gown up enough that he could see what was making him so uncomfortable.
Taped firmly across his pubic hair were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily. Written in large black letters was the sentence:
And from Ernie:
This could happen to you.
I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
'Hi, how are you?'
I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom but I don't know wh at got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
'Doin' just fine!'
And the other person says:
'So what are you up to?'
What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
'Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!'
At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another que stion.
'Can I come over?'
Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them
'No.......I'm a little busy right now!!!'
Then I hear the person say
'Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions
Q: What's the difference between the 1950's and the 1990's?
A: In the 90's, a man walks into a drugstore and states loudly,
"I'd like some condoms"
And then, leaning over the counter, whispers,