Categories
marriage men women

Men Are Just Happier People!

And here’ssss one from Danny:

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah .
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectiona tely refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it’s only for £32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.

Categories
funny men women work

A young guy from Minnesota

A young guy from Minnesota moves to Florida and goes to a big “everything under one roof” department store looking for a job.

The manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?

The kid says “Yeah. I was a salesman back in Minnesota.

Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. “You start tomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did.

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it After the store was locked up, the boss came to see him. “How many customers bought something from you today?

The kid says “One“.

The boss says “Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?

The kid says, “$101,237.65.

The boss says, “$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell him?”

The kid says, “First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4×4 Expedition.

The boss said, “A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK? Is that right?”

The kid answered

“No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, ‘Dude, your weekend’s shot; you should go fishing.'”