All those Jokes that people send me All those crappy jokes that people e-mail me

27Sep/081

Quote for the day:

More from Ernie!

"Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply it.
If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So - if you give her any crap, you will receive a ton of shit."

24Aug/080

Baby Planes

One from Ernie:
A mother and her small son were flying Southwest Airlines from Dallas to Houston. The son (who had been looking out the window), turned to his mother and asked,

"If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The mother (who couldn't think of an answer), told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the  stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that question?" The boy admitted that this was the case.

"Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes at Southwest because Southwest always pulls out on time --now let your mother explain that to you."

13Mar/080

THIS IS TRUE – AND FUNNY

And from Jeannie! The title isn't mine, it's from the original e-mail. Hmmm, can I make the font bigger? 🙂

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THE KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE

1940's, 50's, 60's 70's

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a tin, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, our baby cots were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a van - loose - was always exciting and great fun.

We drank water from the garden hose or tap and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle or can and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cakes, white bread and real butter and drank cordial with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because......

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!