All those Jokes that people send me All those crappy jokes that people e-mail me

15Nov/100

Only a mother would know …

One from Ilya.

One day my mother was out, and my dad was in charge of me I was maybe 2 and a half years old. Someone had given me a little ’tea set' as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room reading the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea’, which was just water.

After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mum came home.
My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was ’just the cutest thingl' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of tea for my Daddy; and she watched him drink it up.

Then she said, (as only a mother would know)

16Oct/080

Group therapy

Is Ernie the only person who get's e-mailed jokes? Anyway, where another great joke from Ernie:

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. 'You all have obsessions,' he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.'
He turned to the second Mom, Ann: 'Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.'
He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: 'Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy.'
At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, 'Come on, Dick, we're leaving. Your brothers Peter and Willy are waiting for us.
13May/080

Am I a Polar Bear?

From Edel:

A polar bear asks his Mother, ‘Mom, am I a real polar bear?”
“Yes darling, of course you are.” his mother answered.
“Are you SURE I’m a polar bear?”
“Yes dear,” his mother replied, “You are. I am, you sister is, you’re father is, we’re all polar bears.”
“Are you POSITIVE?”

“Yes, yes, for the last time, you’re a polar bear! Why do you keep asking?”

"Cause I’m f**king freezing!"