All those Jokes that people send me All those crappy jokes that people e-mail me

25Apr/091

The Old Biker

A great one from Ernie! 🙂

A crusty old biker out on a long summer ride in the country pulls up to a tavern in the middle of nowhere, parks his bike and walks inside. As he passes through the swinging doors, he sees a sign hanging over the bar:

COLD BEER: $2.00
HAMBURGER: $2.25
CHEESEBURGER: $2.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH : $3.50
HAND JOB: $50.00

Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the ole' biker walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled farmers.
She glides down behind the bar to the ole biker.
"Yes?" she inquires with a wide, knowing smile, "may I help you?"
The ole biker leans over the bar, "I was wondering young lady," he whispers, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs "Why yes, yes, I sure am".
The ole' biker leans closer and into her left ear whispers softly, "Well, wash your hands real good, cause I want a cheeseburger"

http://www.timony.com/jokes/2009/04/25/the-old-biker/

20Jan/090

NorDakotaCows

Another from Ernie!

Ole is a farmer in Minnesota.  He is in need of a new milk  cow and hears about a nice one for sale over in Nordakota (that would be North Dakota for you non-Scandahoovians out there).

He drives to Nordakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow.  He reaches under to see if the cow gives milk.

When he grabs a teat and pulls...the cow farts. Surprised, Ole looks at the farmer who's selling the cow, then reaches under to try again. He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again. Milk does come out however, so after some discussion with the cow's current owner,  Ole decides to buy the cow.When he gets back to Minnesota, he calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says,

'Hey, Sven, come and look at dis ere new cow I yust bought. Pull her teat, and see vat happens.'

Sven reaches under, pulls the teat...the cow farts. Sven looks at Ole and says,

'You bought dis here cow in Nordakota, didn't yah?'

Ole is very surprised since he hadn't told Sven about his trip.  Ole replies,

'Yah, dats right. But how did yah know?'

Sven says,

'My wife is from Nordakota'

http://www.timony.com/jokes/2009/01/20/nordakotacows