Categories
irish men money tv

Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

And another bad Irish joke from Edel. Funny how only Irish people send me jokes about the Irish!

Mick, from Dublin, appeared on ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’ and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 euros.

“You’ve done very well so far,”
Said Chris Tarrant, the show’s presenter,
“But for a million euro you’ve only got one life-line left a phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question….. Will you go for it?”

“Sure,” said Mick. “I’ll have a go!”

“Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?

a) Sparrow

b) Thrush,

c) Magpie,

d) Cuckoo?”

“I haven’t got a clue.” said Mick,

”so I’ll use last lifeline and phone my friend Paddy back home in Dublin .”

Mick called up his mate, and told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him.

“Fookin hell, Mick!” cried Paddy. “Dat’s simple……
It’s a cuckoo.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m fookin sure.”

Mick hung up the phone and told Chris,
“I’ll go wit Cuckoo as my answer.”

“Is that your final answer?” asked Chris.

“Dat it is, Sir.”

There was a long – long pause, and then the presenter screamed, “Cuckoo is the correct answer!
Mick, you’ve won 1 million euro!”

The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink.

“Tell me, Paddy, how in Heaven’s name did you know it was DA Cuckoo that doesn’t build its own nest?”

Categories
american politics religion

The Lie Clock

And one from Ernie:

A man died and went to heaven.

As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, “What are all those clocks?”

St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.”

“Oh,” said the man, “Whose clock is that?”

“That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”

“Incredible,” said the man. “And whose clock is that one?”

St. Peter responded, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.”

“Where’s Hillary Clinton’s clock?” asked the man.

“Hillary’s clock is in Jesus’ office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan!”