Categories
irish men money tv

Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

And another bad Irish joke from Edel. Funny how only Irish people send me jokes about the Irish!

Mick, from Dublin, appeared on ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’ and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 euros.

“You’ve done very well so far,”
Said Chris Tarrant, the show’s presenter,
“But for a million euro you’ve only got one life-line left a phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question….. Will you go for it?”

“Sure,” said Mick. “I’ll have a go!”

“Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?

a) Sparrow

b) Thrush,

c) Magpie,

d) Cuckoo?”

“I haven’t got a clue.” said Mick,

”so I’ll use last lifeline and phone my friend Paddy back home in Dublin .”

Mick called up his mate, and told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him.

“Fookin hell, Mick!” cried Paddy. “Dat’s simple……
It’s a cuckoo.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m fookin sure.”

Mick hung up the phone and told Chris,
“I’ll go wit Cuckoo as my answer.”

“Is that your final answer?” asked Chris.

“Dat it is, Sir.”

There was a long – long pause, and then the presenter screamed, “Cuckoo is the correct answer!
Mick, you’ve won 1 million euro!”

The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink.

“Tell me, Paddy, how in Heaven’s name did you know it was DA Cuckoo that doesn’t build its own nest?”

Categories
Halloween

Halloween Joke!

Is Ernie the only person who forwards jokes these days? Here’s the first Halloween joke of the year! 🙂

A Man was walking home alone late one foggy night when behind him he hears:
BUMP
BUMP
BUMP
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging it’s way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP BUMP BUMP Terrified, The man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him
FASTER…..
FASTER…
FASTER….
BUMP.
BUMP
BUMP.
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping.. CLAPPITY-BUMP CLAPPITY-BUMP CLAPPITY-BUMP On his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing up the stairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding, his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. BUMPING and CLAPPING toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something…anything….but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket…..
And [hopefully you are ready for this]