Categories
marriage sex

They’re Finally Together

From Ernie:

Judy and Ted got married and had 13 children.

Then Ted died of heart disease.

She married again, and she & Bob had 7 more children.

Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later.

Again Judy remarried, and this time

She & John had 5 more children.

Judy finally died, after having 25 children.

Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her.

He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said,

“Lord, they are finally together.”

Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend, Margaret:

“Margaret, do you think he means her 1st, 2nd, or 3rd husband?”

Categories
funny government health old religion retirement

Jokes ….

And even more from Edel:
————————————————————

Reason Why It’s So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:

All the DNA is the same.
————————————————————
I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming.

Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.
Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, ‘So which six items would you like to buy?’

Wouldn’t it be great if that happened more often?

Categories
Halloween

Halloween Joke!

Is Ernie the only person who forwards jokes these days? Here’s the first Halloween joke of the year! 🙂

A Man was walking home alone late one foggy night when behind him he hears:
BUMP
BUMP
BUMP
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging it’s way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP BUMP BUMP Terrified, The man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him
FASTER…..
FASTER…
FASTER….
BUMP.
BUMP
BUMP.
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping.. CLAPPITY-BUMP CLAPPITY-BUMP CLAPPITY-BUMP On his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing up the stairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding, his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. BUMPING and CLAPPING toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something…anything….but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket…..
And [hopefully you are ready for this]