All those Jokes that people send me All those crappy jokes that people e-mail me

13Feb/120

Bubba had shingles.

Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate this! Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line? Here's what happened to Bubba:

Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had.

Bubba said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Bubba what he had...

Bubba said, 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had.

Bubba said, 'Shingles..' So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found Bubba sitting patiently in the nude and asked Bubba what he had.

Bubba said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?'

19Nov/080

Sorry ……

And another great one from Ernie:

A professor at BU was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first year medical students. Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked,

'Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'

She replied, 'Probably deer hunting with his buddies.'

It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom.........

24Mar/080

IRISH DOCTOR

And from Danny, one about an Irish doctor and his assistant. Obviously, not a joke from Ireland, as few people there go hunting, and they'd be called knickers or underwear not Panties!

A doctor in Ireland wants to get off work and go hunting, so he approaches his assistant.
Seamus, I am going hunting tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic," he says. "I want you to take care of the clinic and all me patients."
The doctor goes hunting, returns the following day and asks,
"So, Seamus, how was your day?"
Seamus tells him that he took care of three patients.
"The first one had a headache, so I gave him Tylenol."
"Bravo, Seamus, and the second one?" asks the doctor?
"The second one had stomach burning and I gave him Maalox, sir," says Seamus.

"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this.

And what about the third one?" asks the doctor.

"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman bursts into the room. Quick as a wink she undresses herself, tearing off every stitch of clothing including her bra and her panties, and lies down on the table.

She spreads her legs and shouts, "Help me, I beg you! It's been five years since I've seen a man!"
"Thunderin' Lord Jesus, Seamus, what did you do?" asked the doctor.

"I put some drops in her eyes."