All those Jokes that people send me All those crappy jokes that people e-mail me

21Apr/090

Divorce Versus Murder

From Ernie:

A respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, 'I would like to buy some cyanide..'

The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need cyanide?'

The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.'

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, 'Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen.. Absolutely not!

You CANNOT have any cyanide!'

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, 'Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription

6Dec/080

First Time …

A funny teenage love story from Ernie:

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to
meet, and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such
a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that
after dinner, she would like to go out and make love
for the first time.

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex
before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get
some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first
time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an
hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about
condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many
condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family
pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he
thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time
and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents
house and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so
excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!'
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table
where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly
offers to say grace and bows his head.
1Jul/080

Today’s fortune

From Ilya:

Q: What's the difference between the 1950's and the 1990's?

A: In the 90's, a man walks into a drugstore and states loudly,

"I'd like some condoms"

And then, leaning over the counter, whispers,

"and some cigarettes"