Categories
american Motorbike work

CEO of the Week

Another great joke from Ernie, I doubt if this really happened at Harley Davidson, but it’s funny.

If you’ve ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting all the facts and thinking things through, you will love this!

Harley Davidson, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On his first tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall.

The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business.

He walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked, ‘How much money do you make a week?’

A little surprised, the young man looked at him and replied, ‘I make $400 a week. Why?’

The CEO then took out his wallet, handed the guy $1,600 in cash and screamed, ‘Here’s four weeks’ pay, now GET OUT OF HERE and don’t come back.’

Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, ‘Does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did here? ‘

From across the room came a voice:

Categories
irish tasteless

Crisis as Dublin Floods

More from Edel! There’s been major flooding in Dublin recently (Summer 2008) and this e-mail been doing the rounds:

Finglas was hit badly by the  floods over the weekend. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering  ‘ Whaas da bleeeding Story ?’ ‘aaaaaawright bud’ and ‘fuuuucksake’.

The  flooding decimated the area causing approximately 30 euro worth of damage.

Several priceless collections of mementos from Benidorm and Santa Ponsa were  damaged beyond repair.

Three areas of historic burnt cars were destroyed.

Many  locals were woken well before their welfare cheque arrived.

RTE News reported  that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to  the terms with the fact that the damage had not been caused by illegal  means.

One resident : Alexis Crystal Duffy, a 15 year old mother of 5 said  ‘It was such a F***in shock, me little wan Chardonnay Mercedes cem runnin inta  me bedruem cryin, Me youngisst two Tyler Morgan an Megan Brooklyn slept tru ih all. But I was bleeedin  shaken watchin F***in Rikki Laaake in da mornin’

Apparently though, looting, muggings and incidental crime did carry on as usual.

The Irish Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Strongbow, Dutch Gold, Frozen Pizzas, and  John Player Blue to the area to help stricken locals.
Rescue workers are  still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal  belongings, which include Welfare Books and Jewelery including thousands of  Sovereign Rings, many large Medallions and Hash Leaf Shaped earrings from  Elizabeth Duke at Argos also  Fine Bone China from Tommy’s Wonderland of Value.

This Appeal is to raise  money for food and clothing Parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up  in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after, items most needed  include:

  • Fake Burberry or Kappa Baseball Caps
  • Hoodies (any type)
  • Tommy Hilfiger Tracks Suits (his and hers)
  • Nike/Adidas Shell Suits  (female)
  • White Donnay Sports Socks Rockport Boots (and any other items  usually sold in TK Maxx)
  • Anything from Magic or Unique
  • Food Parcels may  be harder to come by as refrigeration may be a problem, but are needed all the  same.

Required Foodstuffs include:

  • McCains Oven Chips
  • Heinz Baked  Beans
  • Goodfellas Frozen Pizzas
  • Coke/Fanta
  • Strongbow Cider
  • Smirnoff Ice
  • John Player Blue 15s

And Remember That Your Cash  Contribution Also Counts !!!
Just 22c buys a biro for filling in the  compensation forms and Bookies slips
Just 5 euro buys chips, crisps and blue  fizzy drinks for a family of 9
Only 6 euro will pay for a packet of 20 Major  to calm the nerves of those affected.

Thank You Very Much For Your Help.