Thanks to Ernie for this great joke!
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a Bar in Dublin. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit, as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, 'What man here will buy a lady a drink?' The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her.
But down at the end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed ' Give the ballerina a drink!' The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down.
She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, 'What man here will buy a lady a drink?' Once again, the same drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, 'Give the ballerina another drink!'
The bartender approached the drunk and said 'Tell me, Paddy, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her a ballerina?'
The version of this I heard as a kid, involved Grand-dad on a bus, a punk, and the punchline had a parrot ... anyways thanks to Diane for the joke!
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.
When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?'
And more from Ernie!
The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and always gets into fights at the drop of a hat.
Edel was OOO for a few days, good to see she's back at work and being productive! 🙂
You are driving in a car at a constant speed.
On your left side is a 'drop off', the ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are travelling on, and on your right side is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you.
In front of you is a galloping horse, which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.
Behind you is a galloping zebra. Both the horse and zebra are also travelling at the same speed as you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?