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What’s in a name?

Thanks Ernie, another great funny one:

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. ‘You all have obsessions,’ he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said, ‘You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter Candy.’

He turned to the second Mom, Ann, ‘Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.’

He turned to the third Mom, Joyce, ‘Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child’s name, Brandy..’

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, ‘Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he’s talking about. Let’s go pick up Peter and Willy from school and get some dinner.

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american kids money old politics

Washington …

From Dora:

A little boy wanted $100..00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.

When the postal authorities received the letter to:

God, USA

They decided to send it to the President.

The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $ 5.00 bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy …

The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:

Dear God,

Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington D.C. and those assholes took $95.00 in taxes.

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animals Australian money

Colin and the croc

Our first joke from Sean G. (via Facebook):

A rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Colin, the only Aborigine in the neighborhood.

He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating prawns, oysters and BBQ. At the height of the party, the host said, ‘I have a 15 ft man-eating crocodile in my pool and I’ll give a million dollars to anyone who has the balls to jump in.’

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Colin in the pool fighting the croc, jabbing the croc in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds of stuff like head butts and choke holds, biting the croc on the tail and flipping the croc through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Colin and the croc were screaming and raising hell. Finally Colin strangled the croc and let it float to the top like a dead goldfish.

Colin then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief. The host says, ‘Well, Colin, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.’
‘Nah, you all right boss, I don’t want it,’ said Colin.

The rich man said, ‘Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then’ ‘No thanks. I don’t want it,’ answered Colin.

The host said, ‘Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing.
Again, Colin said no..

Confused, the rich man asked, ‘Well Colin, then what do you want?

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158 years ago…

From Ernie:

Do you know what happened this week back in 1850, 158 years ago?

  • California became a state.
  • The State had no electricity.
  • The State had no money.
  • Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
  • There were gunfights in the streets.

So basically, it was just like California today; except the women had real breasts, and the men didn’t hold hands.

http://www.timony.com/jokes/2009/01/07/158-years-ago

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funny wisedom

Chain E-mails!

From Ernie:

I’m Still waiting….

I did what you told me..

I sent the email to 10 people like you said .

I’m still waiting for that miracle to happen.


To all my friends who in the last year sent me best ‘wishes’, chain letters, ‘angel’ letters or other promises of good luck if I forwarded something,
NONE OF THAT SHIT WORKED!
For 2008, could you please just send money, chocolate, movie tickets, gasoline vouchers or airline tickets instead?
Thank you
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easter food funny naked

Ultimate Peep Show!

Just in time for Easter! The ultimate peep show, received in seperate e-mails from both Diane & Bruce:

Easter strip show, with peeps (US sweets).